Get out of my lane

I'm a very calm and mild-mannered guy (without all the stress of a crime-fighting alter ego). When I drive, I'm usually doing around the speed limit, or the flow of traffic. I don't cut people off. I wave to people who let me change lanes, and I even believe that people have a right to merge in front of me.

That all changes when I'm on a bicycle. I don't know how or why it happens, but I become a terror. I've been riding bicycles since pre-memory. I even did one of those MS-150 bike tours once. Where I live now, I bike almost every day, about six or seven miles round trip, and I'm becoming very un-me.

I'm aggressive. I pass other bicyclists closely when I think they are drifting too close to the centerline. If two oblividiots are biking next to each other blocking the entire path, I speed up. Maybe I'll cut in between them. Maybe I'll swerve around them with a curt, 'On your left!'

I'm competitive. There are a lot of pro, or at least pro looking, cyclists around here. I leave them alone, but if there is a road bike on the path, it becomes a race. It's a challenge to my manhood if I can't pass it or keep it behind me.

I even took special glee when I passed two middle-aged folk out for a ride. They were hogging the entire path, so I called out and passed them. The woman nearly shrieked, 'Oh my god!' and the man made a kind of gruff noise.

The whole point of this is that I'm not like that at all. I'm kind to squirrels and feel guilty when I don't hold the door for that last person, even when they are far away. Not that those two things are related...