Five and a Chuckle

5.87km - 33'28"

Some jokes from this Fark.com thread:

A mathematician visited a native american reservation.

He spoke with an old native american woman who was sitting on a buffalo pelt. She said, "My son runs so fast, he can reach that mountain all the way over there by sundown."

Then he spoke with a woman sitting on a coyote pelt. She said, "My son is so strong, he can wrestle a buffalo to the ground."

Then he spoke with a woman sitting on a hippopotamus skin. She said, "I have no sons. But I can run to the mountain before sundown, and I can wrestle a buffalo to the ground."

Then the mathematician realized that the squah of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squahs of the other two hides.

Units of measurement:

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = bananosecond
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 million microphones = 1 phone
1 million phones = 1 megaphone
365.25 days = 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
1 million billion picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologs = 5 dialogs
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 wharves = 1 paradox

Didn't Even Know I Wrote About These Things

What brings you to Overread?

Here are some examples of why other folks came here via the search engine archives:

#1 - love wow. I mean, this is my top hit. Um, Hi there internet. I like you too, but I think I just like you. It's not like I like you like you. We can still be friends, right?

#2 - Patty Cake Again,multiple hits here. I can't even imagine putting the two words together. Now that I've done it, I'm sure the patty cakers will come in droves.

#3 - Peter Scalara Um, is Google dunk?

#4 - "Open up your fruitcage"

#8 - Excelsior + bullwinkle This may be my favorite

#9 - "color processing only" means You need Google for this?

#10 - blue prints for batmans wayne manor Ok, first off, it's 'blueprints.' How are you going to thwart the caped crusader if you can't even get his blueprints properly? Second, isn't it Bruce Wayne's (note and learn from the use of capital letters) Wayne Manor? Villains today, I tell ya...

Four

8.04km - 45'34"

Back on the trail again! Yea!

My fortune cookie Sez:
"Important Events Are In Your Future"

Well, I hope so :)

Because I Love Causing You Pain

Buzz Buzz

Meme Is Truly Outrageous, Truly Truly Truly Outrageous

Four things

Four Jobs You've Had in Your Life

• Actor
• Translator
• Soldier
• Food Service (Sketchy Pizza joint and then Burger King)

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over (I don't usually watch movies more than once, so maybe this'll be more of a 'Movies You've Really Been Digging Recently' thing)

• The Third Man
• Pride and Prejudice (The BBC version, as if anyone needed to ask, and yes it is a movie. Just because it was released on TV don't mean nuttin')
• Life is Beautiful
• Hudson Hawk (It's funny! Fine. Nobody likes this movie but me. Me and Bruce Willis. Well, maybe just me.)

Four Places You've Lived

• [CENSORED] (Trust me though, it's a cool place)
• Oahu, Hawai'i
• New York City (If you can make it there... Well, I couldn't. Loved the city though)
• Houston, Texas (shudder)

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch (I'm not much of a TV guy. I mean I like TV a lot, but I never really watch shows regularly. I need a TiVo, I guess)

• The West Wing (is it still showing?)
• Almost anything on the Travel or Discovery Channels
  
• I Love the 70s (or 80s, or 90s or whatever - big surprise, I know :) )
  
• The Daily Show/The Colbert Report

Four Places You've Been on Vacation

• [CENSORED] (Also very cool places)
  
• Moscow, Russia
  
• Paris, France
  
• Tampa, Florida
• Napoli, Italy (got my watch stolen there. grrr...)

Four Blogs You Visit Daily (only four? Ok, but I've got scads on my feedreader, so I'll just put four at random. Don't feel left out if you aren't in the four!)

• Phantom Scribbler
• Writing as Jo(e)
• Russian Violets
• One Bright Star

Four of Your Favorite Foods (only four!?)

• Burritos
• Mongolian Hot Pot
• Ethiopian family style feasts
• Chocolate. Dark. Bitter. Chocolate.

Four Places I'd Rather Be (I'm usually happy wherever I am. Hmmm... Minus field-related places, let's see...)

• The Turkish coast
• A nice secluded mountain retreat (with internet access and library privileges)
• New York City
• Scuba-ing somewhere warm and clear

Four Albums You Can't Live Without (The funny thing is that I don't really do albums anymore.)

• The Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack
  
• Bat Out Of Hell
• Any Big Sinatra Compilation
• When Harry Met Sally Soundtrack

Four Vehicles I've Owned

• '78 White Chevette! (like this but white)
  
• umm.. '91-ish Red Toyota Somethingorother
• '93 Dark Purple-Blue Bridgestone XO-3 18 speed
• ummm... that's about it, I think... I can't remember the other bikes I've had. I'm not really a car person. :(
  

Hooray for memes!

Meme via everyone and their dog (or hamster)

Note: My best friend in college (the first unsuccessful attempt (at college, not friendship)) was (is) named Truly. Great name, yeah? Kinda like the line in Johnny Dangerously, "Did you know your name is an adverb?" Hi-larious. Maybe that should have been movie #4.

I Have a Problem

That's the first step, right?

My advisor just left a big pile of books on the meeting room table. Free to a good home. I can't say that I can provide a good home, but I still yoinked up six of the loveliest ones.

Ah, desk copies and other free books, now I know I'm in the right place.

three

7.64km - 45'

Befuddled

Where in the world did today go? I seriously feel like I lost entire hours somewhere.

Is it sad that I get really excited when I get books for the new classes? Desk copies are even better. Who can scoff at free books? I got some today. Even though I've only glanced at them briefly and already have a quibble (not surprising, really, I'm chock full o' quibbles), they look good, and worlds better than the dross we for the class I TAed last time 'round.

I really enjoy sports. I'm not really a fan of any of them, but I like them. I say this only to preface this:

Marching bands? What in the world?

Color commentators are always horrible. I'm glad they're there though, because I enjoy mocking them.

Post-game interviews are so embarrassing. It's hard for me to watch all the reporters mob the folks who lost and ask them 'How does it feel to lose the most important game of your life?"

I wonder for how many of those college players a big game is the biggest event in their lives. That's got to be sad.

I know it's been said before, but, "Hey! You up there in the stands! Yeah you. You're not affiliated with the school at all. You didn't play the game. You are not number one. I'm sorry, but you aren't. And, um... put your shirt back on, because... I mean. Ick."

Two

7.77km - 44'39"

One Bullet, One Quiz

Returning only when you least expect it!

Only #4 remained unguessed lat time. It was Hendrix, The Wind Cries Mary

alrighty, I've got some doozies here. More than usual too... hmmm... There's a clue though. They all have something in common :)

1

She's a very kinky girl
The kind you don't take home to mother

2

Tonight’s the night we’ll make history,
honey, you and I

3

I will try express,
My inner feelings and thankfulness,
For showing me the meaning of success.

4

Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby

5

For service and devotion
You would think that I
Would deserve a fair promotion

6

I love to feel the rain
On my face
To taste the rain on my lips
In the moonlight shadows

7

You should've seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was something missing
You should've known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn't listen

8

Time is on your side,
Don't let them put you down, don't let 'em push you around,
don't let 'em ever change your point of view.

9

I don’t wanna talk, if it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence

10 - This one's nasty if you can't get the tune, but you know it. I know you do :) You may not know the title though - I didn't

Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain --

11

Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow

12

The Cuervo gold
The fine Columbian
Make tonight a wonderful thing

13

And he’s cute
In his mohair suit
And he keeps his pockets full of spending loot

14

You put your left foot out
keep it all in place...
Work your way right into my case

15

I had a dream
But it turned to dust
What I thought was love
That must have been lust

Best Christmas Card Ever

Best Christmas Card Ever
Originally uploaded by Overread.

How's this for homemade Christmas goodness?

First, I want one of these. I guess I couldn't be more hermitish, could I?

Along the psychic lines of Postsecret, Found has great stuff (I think I've linked there before, but I rediscovered it and how much I love it. Examples:
1: Note "To the fat ass butch dyke"(link may be to the daily find, so if it's not the note 'to the fat ass butch dyke' when you click on that, my apologies.
2: Note to the "Pushy Twit," aka Dryer Dictator
3: Note to God, Re: Monsters
4: Note to the "parent(s) of the girl who lives on the 2nd floor." It's all about the stationary.
5: Finally, it's important to make lists about things you might forget to do.

I am working, really I am. I just create a little backlog of links and then just dump them all at once. Really. That's the ticket. I even got my email inbox cleaned out today. Wow.

On the Road...Err...Treadmill Again

7.1km - 39'

Originally uploaded by Overread.

Hypnotic

clicky for the sandbox

And There's This

it's all about me. deal with it.


Who's Your Happy Bunny?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow.

I just fixed a problem that had been troubling my adviser and myself for a long while. To figure it out properly would have taken weeks or months in the depths of a particularly nasty portion of the library. Thanks to the internets and my handy laptop, I teased out the problem in a couple of hours. The wild thing is - the problem was what we thought is was, and it doesn't really impact the research, but we had to know for sure, so I had to figure it out even if it won't end up in the thesis, and it at most will get a little footnote. What I can't get over is that people who did what I'm doing now in years gone by must have had brains the size of cattle. How else could they have trudged through all of this without the internets?

I'm a lucky lucky little dude.

Who knows what the next generation of folks will be able to do?

Odd...

What is this work I see in front of me? I've been crunching through data-stuff for about four hours now and I've come to the conclusion that all of this thesis stuff was written by aliens. Otherwise, how could it be possible that I did all of this? I certainly don't remember being so motivated enough to write all 60-ish pages of this over here, and I have no idea who wrote all these notes over there. Perhaps I should keep going through this stuff. There may be something useful in here.

I've turned in all my PhD applications now. I don't have to actually finish the MA now, right?

Ooo on the bonus plus extra good side, I got a check from a photo gig I did a few weeks ago. I was doing it for a guy in the athletics department almost as a favor, and so I told him to pay me what he thought he could squeeze out of the budget. I never expected to be paid with real money. I mean, it's not like 'buy a brand new lens' kind of money, but it's close to 'rent for a month' money, and where I live that's really big bux!

hmm.. new lens...

More Rain

No run.

I made the journey to Nearby Big Town to deposit my student loan check though. That was nice. (can't see why they can't to direct deposit like they do for my paychecks though) Ate lots and lots of Mexican food.

long trip

lots of food

I need a movie and a nap.