On the Other Hand

The best piece of television is the 'I Love The 70s/80s/90s' series on VH1. I've watched a lot of them before, but I'm watching I Love 1978 right now and laughing like crazy. I mean - seriously, Kermit the Frog singing 'Staying Alive?'

That's magic

The Sun Turned Black Like Sackcloth Made of Goat Hair; The Whole Moon Turned Blood Red

Calanders are out at the book store.

Calanders for 2006.

IT'S NOT EVEN AUGUST!

Best in Show

The final project display for the photography class happened today, and I think it went ok (no, you can't see the pictures. There were people and places in them that ought not to be spread about). The big plus is that class is done. Over.

This is nice because I can now turn full time to looking for a place to live and getting ready for the whirlwind tour. I did finally get confirmation. I'm leaving on August 11th!

I suppose this is precisely why I am feeling very very very laaaazy. I usually reward myself after difficult or unpleasant tasks, and while the photography class was neither, I feel like I want a reward.

So, why do all the movies look awful? I have to admit I'm tempted to go see Stealth, because it looks so bad. I mean, if you are hovering at 10% at Rotten Tomatoes, that's got to be an awful movie. Even better than that, Newsday's reviewer said:

After 110 minutes of this, atheists will storm monasteries and acrophobics will scale redwood trees, anything to find an oasis of calm.

That's great, right? Here's another one from Eric Snider:

I submit that when your movie is about a magical talking airplane, and yet the magical talking airplane is NOT the silliest thing about the movie, then you should not make any more movies.

Ok, I'm not going to go see it. Maybe I'll just get a good night's sleep. That's a reward, right?

Home

Finally.

Left home at 6am.

It's 11:30pm now.

long day. no internet all day long. Going through the DTs.

'nother long day tomorrow.

ugh.

Slot Machine

Flashback to last spring.

I hear that there is a class on Gruub* coming up in the fall, and since the TA slots are assigned rather higgledy-piggledy, I try to be assertive and approach the department folks and ask about the position. They tell me that there is no chance at getting the slot because the class is split with another department (the prof is from the other department), and that that department is crawling with grad folks hunting for TA slots like zombies after brains.

I’m a little miffed because I know the other department doesn’t actually have any grads who study Gruub in particular, and my department has a few grads who are working specifically in Gruub - myself included. And, of course, any time you see someone not trained in your field try to explain your field, you die a little inside, right?

In the end I was sad, but I understood that it was just that department defending their turf and if I were a grad over there, I would just be realizing that I can’t get a job with a degree from there and I’d better learn about Gruub pretty quickly. So, anyway, I come to terms with sorrow, and move on.

Today, I get an email (from my department) asking if I would like to TA the Gruub class in the fall.

Why, yes. Yes, I would.

Yea me! This is really huge, because none of us are really funded and this will take a big bite out of my debt-load in the fall. I’ll be able to eat! And pay rent! And maybe, dare I dream? Maybe I’ll be able to buy a book!

* It's really hard coming up with a fake name that doesn't actually mean something

Googlicious

My life needs to be google-able.

I just ran into a gal who was in my ballroom dancing class 2 (?) years ago, and we just had a nice half hour chat. She and the whole trio of gals from the class that I hung out with are all doing well and heading off to Europe for a little backpacking. She’s going into such and such a department but is having trouble with grades and roommates and such. Anyway, lovely little chat.

What is her name?

I can’t remember. She very cleverly wove the names of the other two in the trio into the conversation, but I couldn’t remember hers. Then at the end of the conversation, I thought I remembered her name but was too unsure to use it.

Wouldn’t life be better if you could just google it?

I Wouldn't Hurt a Couch - A Loveseat Maybe, but a Couch?

I was back in the hometown where I grew up. The neighborhood kind of looked like my grandfather’s neighborhood, but I couldn’t swear to it. My brother and I went out at night and were cruising around on what seemed to be non-powered Segways. Later, we are all at some restaurant and I try to pay for the meal with a credit card. It’s taking a long time and I ask why. The waiter says that the machine is giving him trouble because I was arrested earlier today (and he says this in a very ‘this happens all the time’ kind of voice). I try to argue that I wasn’t arrested, and of course the police are here now, and they tell me that it all has to do with vandalizing a couch.

Then the alarm went off.

Any amateur dream analysts want to give that one a shot?

Fitting

I'm looking online to see if there are any more socially responsible running shoe makers out there and I come across this.

Run Log. Stardate 7.26.05.

11.13km – 1:04’55”

Chilly and windy today.

The chilly was really nice (just to rub it in for those of you sweltering in the south), but the windy was nasty. I’m pretty happy with the time, because I felt pretty slow. I ended up a wee bit longer than the past two runs, and a little quicker than both of them. That’s good. Also good: My breath seemed very steady, even if my legs were a bit tired. I think part of that problem is that I’m well past the time to get some new running shoes. Maybe that’s a job for me tonight. I hate getting new running shoes because they always discontinue the shoes that I’m wearing, so I have to try a new style.

Wilbur's Teeth

I finally got the tickets for the mystery journey coming up in August.

A lovely woman called from several time zones away (it was 6am my time), and asked for an email address where she could sent the tickets. Groggy, but pleased (because I haven’t actually received an official confirmation that I was going), I told her my email address. She said to just look it over and call her back if anything needed changing.

Ten minutes later, I call her back. Oh, well, the itinerary has my last name as my middle and my middle as last. No worries, she’ll send the corrected itinerary to me in a jiff.

Ten minutes later I call her back. Well, as much as I would love an opportunity to tour the fair city where you work many time zones away, I would prefer that the plane drop me off somewhere closer to, say, where I live. That would be nice.
OH! I’m so sorry, that was my fault.

Yes. Yes it was.

I’ve mentioned before that the lead up to this trip has been covered with the marks of… well, something less than efficiency. Now, far be it from me to be ungrateful, but the only way you can tell if the horse is worth taking home is if you check out the teeth, even if it is a gift.

Snopes and the Mailbag of Terror

Snopes is the best site I've seen for debunking urban legends, but they've just put up a post listing some of the requests that they've gotten that they can't seem to (or won't) answer. Some of them are hilarious:

My younger sis heard: in order for a cologne/perfume/fragrance to be compatible to one's body chemistry, spray a sample and then lick it. If the taste stings the tongue, it is not suitable; no sting — it's a good match.

Please advise before I test the handful of colognes I've been using!

Never trust a guy who uses a handful of colognes.

I just read a blurb that pre-packaged foods can cause people to turn gay because of too much estrogen. If I was only allowed one question for snopes, I would ask if this is true. Is it?

We live in enlightened times.

Is Ciara a MAN????? PLEASE ANSWER ME BACK!!!!!

I love the urgency of this one.

A friend of mine asked me if I've ever hear of invisible witches or ghosts that suck the blood out of a person's arm while they are sleeping. Apparently, she saw "marks" on her boyfriend's arm and this was the story that he told her.

"Um, yeah, babe, haven't you heard of the invisible witches? They um... suck on your arm and leave those marks, see?"

I'm 19 and from Yuma, Az and I would like to know if this myth I'v been hearing is true? By masturbating it helps the chance by not getting cancer? Is that true?..also I'v hurd other myths about masturbation and don't know if those myths are true or not. But I would like to know about the question I asked before.

I think that's what Joycelyn Elders said, right?

My friend swears that you can't be prosecuted for stealing a dead body because it has no intrinsic value. Is this true?

I think there are questions you should be asking your friend, not Snopes...

I would like to know what does work and what does not work for getting rid of 'hickeys.' Such as the cold spoon trick, toothpaste trick, etc.

I heard that rubbing a hickey with a penny makes it disappear faster. Is that true?

Are these from the 'invisible witch' guy?

Is it true that a girl cannot get pregnant if her mate smokes the seeds of marijuana when he smokes marijuana, please tell me if this is true because a lot of people tell me it is true and a lot of people tell me it's not and I don't know whaether to believe it or notbecause this town lies a lot. thanks.

This town does lie a lot, doesn't it?

Can you give me ANY statistics about urban legends on the internet? Anything!!! My speech is due monday and I have to have a few statistics in it.

And thus a scholar is born.

I've heard that it is impossible to take a lightbulb out of your mouth once one puts it in, without either breaking the bulb or dislocating the jaw.

Do you know if this is true? I'm counting on you - my husband is really curious, and I don't want to have to drive him to the hospital...

Enlightened times, indeed.

via Pretty Hard, Dammit and Scrivenings

You're The Guns of August!

by Barbara Tuchman

Though you're interested in war, what you really want to know is what
causes war. You're out to expose imperialism, militarism, and nationalism for what they
really are. Nevertheless, you're always living in the past and have a hard time dealing
with what's going on today. You're also far more focused on Europe than anywhere else in
the world. A fitting motto for you might be "Guns do kill, but so can
diplomats."


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Steve Jobbed

I'm not a Mac guy by any means, but the new iPod Flea (video) looks really cool.

Trouble With A Capital T - That Rhymes With P, and That Stands For Pool

I tripped over an old name online last night. It is funny how seeing a name you haven’t even thought of in years can bring back worlds that you might as well have forgotten. The name belonged to one of the folks I knew in my theatre life. So, naturally, I had to start googling all the names that were now popping up unbidden.

Most of they folks I knew are still actors, or at least working in related fields – stage managing, writing, directing. One was recently in a couple of TV shows that I haven’t heard of. She was only doing bit parts, but I hope that gets better for her. At least she’s not doing zombie movies like she was when I last heard about her. (Although as an aside, I should say that I saw Shaun of the Dead and it was really funny)

I imagine this happens to everyone when reunions or old friends pop up. I started to think about what would have happened if I had stayed in the theatre. I usually jokingly say that I have neither the talent nor the cruelty to succeed in that world, but I think I could have made a living. Would I be in New York working tech on his show that sounds odd but intriguing? Would I be writing plays and hoping to receive the awards that she has been getting? Or would I be working a temp job in the day and watching the door at night like I was for so long?

I got lost in this reverie for quite a while last night. It’s a bit of a melancholy thing, really, seeing in your mind what you might have become. I have no regrets about my choices there, but at the same time it’s a pity that we have to define ourselves to the exclusion of other possibilities so that we can try to become well-versed in one area.

Maybe some day when I’m tenured somewhere, I’ll go find a community theatre that needs someone to play the 70^th trombone in the big parade.

Paper, Plastic, or Latex?

You know what I don't need to see at my grocery store? 12 year-olds making out amongst the chips and cookies. Or anywhere for that matter.

I mean come on. Get a tree house or something.