Rogue's Gallery

Another note from the trip:  If you put 60 people under the age of 35 on a two week trip, you will get a soap opera.  

Evidence:

The first people who become noticeable are the people everyone hates.  

Enter the Ugly Americans.  Number one is an insecure 19 year old who thinks that proving every stereotype heaped on Americas will make people like him.  It doesn’t.  His most shining moment otherwise was acting as a translator between the Spanish folks and some English speakers.  He translated everything they said as either an insult or a sexual proposition.  Unfortunately, there weren’t any other Spanish speakers around at the time.

Number two is a missionary who has a nasty habit of getting drunk and attempting to sexually assault anything with breasts.  He also, unfortunately had been to Miniland before and regaled anyone within earshot, including locals, about how he knew better places that we should be going, and if we would only follow him instead of the tour guides, how much better life would be.  He also spoke a bit of the local lingo, but the less said about that, the better.

Next to become vivid are the first batch of lovers.  Boom.  Out of nowhere they’re crawling all over each other.  In the hotel, in the bus, in the restaurant, in the street.  Hey, listen, we’re happy that you’ve found each other, but come on now…

Then there’s the French guy I mentioned before.  There were several people from France, but only one French Guy.  Imagine Pepe LePew, Marky Mark and maybe a dash of Je ne sais quois, and you’ve got him.  He’s a good guy but sexual to the point of startling people.  He’s not picky – man, woman, good-looking, ugly, married, single, anyone is beautiful and available to him.  

Slowly the less extravagant people become visible.  Camera folks for me to chat with.  The running group and the vegetarian group, both of which I enjoy spending time with.  The guides themselves were wonderful people by and large, and were happy to talk about anything and everything.  Their leader was a fiercely nationalistic fireplug.  She came up to my chin (and I’m not tall by any stretch of the imagination), and she couldn’t stop talking or moving the entire trip.  At one point, when I was sure that no one had gotten a full night’s sleep, she was so hopped up that I figured she must have been on something.

As the trip moved on, the more subtle pairings began.  That girl is madly in lust with that guy.  All the girls love him, but he’s not paying them any attention.  He’s hanging around those two quite a bit more than is seemly, but who knows?  Then it becomes a bit more obvious.  He isn’t interested in her, but once his other options dry up, he’s happy to be with her.  The other he disappeared with one of the guides. Etc…  I really wish I had the anthropological training to see what was really going on.  

I did get one disturbing gossip update, but there’s no telling if it’s true.  Heck, maybe it’s all in my imagination.  Well, I know that that wasn’t in my imagination…