Taken from Metafilter's Ask pages
Q Why does Lenin drink peppermint tea?
A Because all proper tea is theft.
Karl Marx goes to visit his friend Friedrich Engels, they have tea and cake, and Marx excuses himself to use the bathroom. As he flushes the toilet, he hears the unmistakable sound of a string quartet. He shrugs and goes back to Engels.
Over the next few weeks, Marx continues to visit Engels and use his bathroom, and every time he flushes, there's the sound of a string quartet.
Finally he confronts Engels: "Look Friedrich, every time I flush your toilet, I hear a string quartet, what's that all about?"
"Oh that," says Engels, "That's the violins inherent in the cistern."
An angel appeared at a university faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for his exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom. "Done," the angel said, then disappeared. The other faculty members looked at the dean, who was surrounded by a halo of light. One colleague said, "Say something wise.” The dean sighed and said, "I should have taken the money." - Playboy's Party Jokes