Library Notes

• Note to the person who is coughing loudly and obviously with illness: Dude. At least I hope you are a dude. If you are a dudette, then you've got to be the rockingest sub-contralto that ever contralto'ed. So, anyway, seriously. Go home. You need to be resting and watching home improvement shows and taking in soup or something. If you really have to, check out your books and then go home and read in bed. You are getting your nasty germs all over the place. Also you scare the ever-living bajezus out of me every time you cough. Thanks.
• Note to the person who wrote in the book I'm reading. First off, I'm fairly anti-library book in writing. You are less evil because you wrote in pencil, so thanks for that. But the thing that's killing me is that you wrote really really tiny with a big blunt pencil. Was it like a carpenter's pencil that you sharpened months ago with a rasp? The result is that I can't read your notes and that's distracting. What's this? "issue garble garble and also not true?" is that what you wrote? Rather than blame myself for being easily distracted, I'll blame you for not writing more clearly. Thanks.