- Ok, I'm superficial. Fine, I can handle that. I need pictures, plural. (and eHarmony, I really don't want to pay you for the pleasure. grrr...)
- I know, I'm a camera geek, but surely you can see that the quality of the picture you uploaded is bad, right?
- Half face covered in shadow
- 16 pixels total
- blurry because the camera didn't focus or blurry because you blurred it?
- Red eyes? ix-nay on the demonic irlfriend-gay
- Dark hair? Dark clothes? Dark background? bad photo? Ah! Floating HEAD!
- Where are you? Disneyword? Cute. Paris? Cool. The bathroom? Awkward. Also, is that a rifle in the background?
- Why are you clutching lovingly at the guy there? If that's a brother or friend or something, a note would be nice.
- related - Disturbing crops. Who or what did you crop out of that photo. Are you leaning on a photogenically ugly wall or Bin Laden?
- I know that you are trying to show that you are active and all, but if you are in mortal danger in each of your photos, perhaps you ain't for me.
- Cute picture of you at the bar with friends? cool, shows you are sociable and what you do for fun.
- Several photos of you completely sloshed and slightly drooling? Not so cool. Shows you are sociable and what you do for fun.
- Glamor shots. Ok, this may be just me, but a woman who can dress up or down for anything is very attractive. A woman who wears an inch and a half of pancake, chisel-proof hair, tilts her head at a 45 degree angle and looks back over her head with a runaway bride look in her eyes - not so much.
- Cleavage. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of cleavage, and there's nothing wrong with showing it in your pictures, but c'mon cameraman, the eyes are up here. If the photo is focused on your boobs, and I can see more than your plastic surgeon could, I'm going to assume that's all you have to offer.
- Animals. Again, I get it. You love animals. I do too. But if there are significantly more pictures of your beloved Bingo then of you, I'm curious if there's room in your world for anyone else.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Wisdom from the land of the online dating sites: