Sunday, September 02, 2007

Nearly Forgotten Scatological Airplane Gems

#1

Kid: "Mommy, I pooped. Smells bad, doesn't it?"
Mommy [tired, resigned]: "Yes, yes, it stinks."

#2

If, say, you are on a double digit hour long flight, and the person next to you (say, me) has purposefully avoided conversation the entire time, why on (or above) this good green earth do you think that as we begin landing procedures, that it might be appropriate to expound thusly:

"So, it makes sense, I mean. When I was I kid I got praised for using the toilet. I grew up in Japan, and they'd all say 'Jim-san, oh, you made such a big potty!' Jim's my name, see. But my brother, man they just said, 'Man, you're a stinky boy!" And, now, see I'm the artist, and he's man, he's just completely destructive."

How would you respond, friends and neighbors?

A: Mumble incoherently and turn to stare out the window
B: Gawp back in slack-jawed amazement
C: Recline his chair and ask him how he felt toward his mother
D: Other (write in your own)

Also, and loosely related, there is this (and its 'explanation'):

5 comments:

BrightStar said...

The big city butts are bitter!

Stewgad said...

Perhaps option D) page the Flight Attendant and tell them that you saw that the guy was messing with an odd looking hunk of gray clay with wires sticking out of it and should maybe they move him to a different part of the airplane.

Holy crap, that's weird. Did it at least follow the statement of #1? Was he trying to connect to that conversation as well? Or did this poop conversation come out of the blue?

And, by the way, welcome back! I've been enjoying your travel posts!

Overread said...

I imagine that's true, yah know. Big city butts are probably bitter-er :)

Actually, the poopy kid and the Freudian dude were on different flights, but still. Or rather, butt still...

Thanks Stewgad - it's great to hear from you again!

Scrivener said...

I like Stewgad's suggestion, though in the moment I almost certainly would have gone with A.

mendi-la said...

that IS weird!