Happiness is...

When I left for Japan, what, like three months ago, I put a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms behind the bottle of pasta sauce.

Tonight I found it.

Joy.

TV Branding

Ah, yes. I forgot. I'm sure you've seen this before, but it gives me great joy:

It's Got Bionics, That's Got To Be Good, Right?

You can watch to first episode of the Bionic Woman and a couple other NBC shows on Amazon Unbox for free. I guess that's NBC trying to dig themselves out of the whole they fell in when they pulled out of their iTunes deal. Anyway, it's pretty hard to imagine a show that I should like more. Geeky, gorgeous woman, tech stuff and nostalgia. Ah, should be great.

It's not.

Just like all the other nostalgia porn out there (Fantastic Four, Transformers, etc...), there's some good in it. I actually do like the main actress a bit. She is pretty, and she also seems to be able to act a little bit, even if she does have a bit of the Keanu Reeves disease (blank, stupified, but easy on the eyes). Hopefully that's just because most of the role in this episode called for it.

The other actress worthy of note is the 'other' women (you'll see what I mean if you bother to watch). She's just awful. I though maybe she was trying to go the cold heartless route, but no, I really think she's just an awful actress.

There is some good geek stuff in there, although I think the 'through the bionic eye cam' looked a little too reminiscent of the Terminator, but hey, maybe that's just me. There was also a nice bit when she's waking up from the surgery that was properly panicky and fairly well-done. This probably had a bit to do with the fact that there wasn't much dialogue there.

The biggest problem is the writing, of course. The things that those poor people were forced to say, the clichés, oh it was just embarrassing. Of course, there's a father-thing plot element. Of course there's a giant government related black-ops organization that's gone wrong with a past experiment on the loose. I'm going to go out on the limb and say that the leader of the group is of -gasp- ambiguous morals and loyalty! Of course, there's a insanely young looks-like-he-belongs-on-the-cover-of-Teen-Beat-Magazine doctor. Why wouldn't our heroine be a down on her luck bartender who just happens to have a genius IQ and knockout looks. Ugh, I could go on and on.

Still, I watched the whole episode. I probably won't watch any more, but it'll probably do ok. After all, this is what passes for female empowerment these days.*

* There was a really strained push for this in the show, too. Bionic Woman is running through the woods next to a road and a little girl in the back seat of an SUV sees her and tells mommy - a stern businesswoman cutout with a bluetooth headset. Mommy says something like, "what did I tell you about making things up." and the little (little little) girl says, "I just thought it was cool that a girl could do that." ugh.

Back at Black Rock

I've been having an odd summer academically. See, I ran off and did something only mildly related to my real studies (but required to get my PhD) all summer long. I wasn't really in a good position to keep going on my own stuff (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). So now I'm back and trying desperately to get back into the groove. I've got a couple of projects on my plate, and I would love to get a little bit of progress, but the inertia of the summer is soooo hard to overcome.

So, long story short, I'm in the library today getting really excited about one of my topics, but realizing that I'm wanting to look in a different direction than I had in the past. I guess it's just because I've been away from it for a little while, but I guess I've gotten a new perspective on the topic. I did want to look into topic A, but now I'm thinking it might be better to look into topics B-F and how they orbit topic A. That seems so much better and even perhaps a little (buzzword alert) interdisciplinary of me. 'Course it also means more work, too. harumph.

In any case, it's time to go home, heat up some frozen pizza and watch some football.

Enter The Roommate

I just got a phone call from my new roommate.* Since I'm still in the university-owned apartment, it's all been handled by the housing department. He's moving in on the 15th, coming from the Great White North. Well, close to the great white north anyway, but still in the US. Anyway, should be interesting. He's a musician, maybe trumpet? Very cool really, but I'm wondering if he'll be practicing in the apartment.

See? It is all about me.

Also, I asked if he was going to need any help moving in. He said that he was going to just be flying in with a couple of bags. I didn't ask specifically, but it seems he's not bringing anything else. Cool to travel light and all, but um... you're going to be here for a while, yaknow? Then he asked if the apartment was furnished. Hehe. Furnished. Funny guy.

* Very fun information. I killed my contract with AT&T and switched over to their Gophone pay-as-you-go plan. So far it's quite cool. I went from ~$40/month to nada. 'Cause, well I don't have any friends who might call me. I just bought a $30 card and all is good (although the card expires in 3 months, which is patently evil, but evil on a scale I'm prepared to accept from a cell phone company). Anyway, I discovered when he called that incoming calls are free. I mean, they should be and all, but still. Bonus cool.

Lonk-o-rama

• Blogging for dollars!
• How is it possible that I never read Twain's version of Eve's Diary? This is wonderful! (also bonus cool points to the Gutenberg Project for including the illustrations)
• Non-link. DVDs are way too expensive. No wonder people pirate.
  
• Completely random, but I love old photos. I could spend hours here, and perhaps only a little less time here.
  

Lessons Learning

Wisdom from the land of the online dating sites:

• Photos:
• Ok, I'm superficial. Fine, I can handle that. I need pictures, plural. (and eHarmony, I really don't want to pay you for the pleasure. grrr...)
  
• I know, I'm a camera geek, but surely you can see that the quality of the picture you uploaded is bad, right?
  
• Half face covered in shadow
• 16 pixels total
• blurry because the camera didn't focus or blurry because you blurred it?
• Red eyes? ix-nay on the demonic irlfriend-gay
• Dark hair? Dark clothes? Dark background? bad photo? Ah! Floating HEAD!
  
• Where are you? Disneyword? Cute. Paris? Cool. The bathroom? Awkward. Also, is that a rifle in the background?
• Why are you clutching lovingly at the guy there? If that's a brother or friend or something, a note would be nice.
  
• related - Disturbing crops. Who or what did you crop out of that photo. Are you leaning on a photogenically ugly wall or Bin Laden?
  
• I know that you are trying to show that you are active and all, but if you are in mortal danger in each of your photos, perhaps you ain't for me.
• Cute picture of you at the bar with friends? cool, shows you are sociable and what you do for fun.
• Several photos of you completely sloshed and slightly drooling? Not so cool. Shows you are sociable and what you do for fun.
• Glamor shots. Ok, this may be just me, but a woman who can dress up or down for anything is very attractive. A woman who wears an inch and a half of pancake, chisel-proof hair, tilts her head at a 45 degree angle and looks back over her head with a runaway bride look in her eyes - not so much.
• Cleavage. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of cleavage, and there's nothing wrong with showing it in your pictures, but c'mon cameraman, the eyes are up here. If the photo is focused on your boobs, and I can see more than your plastic surgeon could, I'm going to assume that's all you have to offer.
• Animals. Again, I get it. You love animals. I do too. But if there are significantly more pictures of your beloved Bingo then of you, I'm curious if there's room in your world for anyone else.

I'm learning more and more every day :)

Earworm of the Morning Plus Bonus Funky Dream!

Cool Change by the Little River Band (had to look that one up too. See? I would have failed all of my own quizzes)

Funky Dream - I'm running a D&D game with an old friend from many schools ago - we're going to make money at this by charging the people who play - genius! Odder is that the people seem to be willing to pay. We play in a barn on a campus near the sea. Seriously, like a big red barn that maybe needs only a silo. My friend (who actually runs the game) leaves early and then later I drive home apparently drunk (did I drink there? maybe some tumblers of red stuff?). Several times, the road veers left and I try to turn the wheel left but my arms turn the wheel right - stupid arms. One time I'm impressed that I don't go over the guardrail off the cliff over there into the sea. Is this Hawaii? Looks a lot like Hawaii. Now I'm on raised overpasses, but I still don't go over the railings. Eventually I pass some place I seem to remember from other dreams. Then I finally go off the road and onto some kind of latticed girder work (construction? Still raised high over the ground). I stop the car (it's an SUV! Good god - I'm driving an SUV! The shame of it all!) and a car pulls up behind me. It's not a cop, but he asks me to hand over my keys and I do.

Oh, B* - Pandas are on the way!

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

I've discovered that I follow through on things more when I make them slightly more public, so I'm going to try to do that a little more here on the blog, and maybe I'll be able to actually have a social life this year - believe in miracles, friends and neighbors.

This spring I promised myself that I would, so I've been surfing the dating sites almost all day today. Ach, depressing. So far the results are... limited and confusing - much like my love life in general, I suppose.

I actually like the eHarmony system quite a lot, but either I'm a bigger freak than I assumed (quite possible), or everyone who wasn't hyper-Christian already left eHarmony after all the bad press they got. I think I ended up with two results within my state. And I like in a big state. And I think dating someone in Germany or Turkey would be cool, but perhaps not right now - The first date at a coffee shop might be... expensive.

The other two I've tried so far are Match.com (which I've heard has had some quality successes :P) and Chemistry.com. Match.com looks good - plenty of people - but a little overwhelming, and I'm not sure how well they match up with me. Anyway, that's where I've spent the most time today, and I might have screwed up the questionnaire on Chemistry, because their summary of my personality is a bit odd. Either that or I don't know myself as well as I thought. Also possible.

Also, dang! These things ain't cheap! Free versions for me for now.

iAm Sick Of It All

I'm geeky - that's obvious. I'm also often opposed to whatever is popular, for no other reason than its popularity, even when it's to my detriment. Thus, I was horrified and tickled at the same time when I heard that Apple dropped the price of the iPhone from $599 to $399 this morning. Bear in mind that all the early adopters and hardcore Apple fanboys lined up to buy those things when they were released, what, a little over two months ago? I guarantee that there are folks who just got together enough money to get one just last week. Oh, so ouch. I wonder if the stores will honor the price change if they come in to argue.

Not A Natural Man

Almost every morning I wake up with a song in my head. I don't know why, I don't know how. Often it's a song I haven't heard in years. For example, this morning: Pusherman by Steppenwolf (had to look that up). Does this reflect on my sanity or lack thereof?

Smoooth. Real Smooooth

• Two Japanese young women get on a very crowded bus and end up standing next to that guy. You know that guy. The overly-friendly, overly-loud guy who never really says anything horribly offensive, but makes everyone on the bus uncomfortable anyway. The women don't have a very good command of English, but the guy is trying his best to tell women number one how much he really loves her. Welcome to the US.
• (sidenote) After the women get off (he kisses their hands), a couple of sk8r bois (with boards) take their place in front of the guy. Said bois are quite young. That guy proceeds to tell a, um... rather blue joke and then explain that marijuana is ok, they'd better not do crack, 'cause he did that for seventeen years and it just about killed him.
  
• After the bois leave he announces that he is going to learn Japanese next so he can talk to all the sexy Japanese women. Then he announces his departure and lets everyone know that he'll be riding again next week, same time same bus. Good to know.
  
• In the grocery store, there's a older very skeezy looking guy following around a cute young stocker who looks to be taking him to some other aisle. The only part of the conversation I catch is the guy saying "... You don't know what that means? That means 'beautiful little one.' That's what you are." This followed by an exasperated sigh and a quickened pace from the stocker.
• Elsewhere in the grocery store, geeky-looking but large and imposing man has stunning women backed up against the diet sodas. She: arms folded across chest glancing from him to her shopping cart a few times. Him: one hand casually leaning against the display next to her, the other gesturing as he talks. As I pass by, she starts suddenly and, interrupting him, says that it was nice to meet him and starts to push away her cart, stopping only briefly to half-heartedly shake his proffered hand. As she moves away with a quickness, he makes no effort to hide the fact that he's staring right at her butt.

Gah. What a day for love. Does cupid have a hangover or something?

Crosstown Traffic

Also, Labor Day bus schedules suck. Boooo.

It Slices, It Dices, It Makes Julianne Classes

Oh, dear. This is going to be ugly.

Classes don't start for me for a little bit yet, so I'm just finding out how things are going to go down. Hoo-boy. So, I found out that I'm TAing the same course I did last year, which is good - it's probably my best fit here, and it's steady for the whole year. So, good.

But there's bad, too. There's real bad. Budget Cuts. The class is an intro class. A pretty big intro class. Think mid-low three digits. So, anywhoo, I just found out our class size got cut by about a third for this year because we can't afford to teach all the students who want to learn. Absolutely infuriating.

So while I'm really happy to see that I'm one of the few TAs who are still, um, employed, I am really not looking forward to the first day of class where I get to tell several dozens of students that I'd would love to have them in my class, but I can't let them in.

Usually, I have no problem telling students that there's no room in the inn, because, generally, they're the ones who never got their act together, didn't really want or need the class in the first place, and generally perform badly if I let them in anyway. That's the thing, too. If I feel there's just cause, the department usually gives me the final call if I want to let a latecomer in. And beyond that, there's generally only a handful that we can't get in one section or another.

This time, there are going to be majors and minors who need the class, freshmen who the department needs to court into becoming majors, and all sorts of quality folks that I'm going to have to turn away. And I'm going to probably have no call about letting in exceptional case beyond that.

Nearly Forgotten Scatological Airplane Gems

#1

Kid: "Mommy, I pooped. Smells bad, doesn't it?"
Mommy [tired, resigned]: "Yes, yes, it stinks."

#2

If, say, you are on a double digit hour long flight, and the person next to you (say, me) has purposefully avoided conversation the entire time, why on (or above) this good green earth do you think that as we begin landing procedures, that it might be appropriate to expound thusly:

"So, it makes sense, I mean. When I was I kid I got praised for using the toilet. I grew up in Japan, and they'd all say 'Jim-san, oh, you made such a big potty!' Jim's my name, see. But my brother, man they just said, 'Man, you're a stinky boy!" And, now, see I'm the artist, and he's man, he's just completely destructive."

How would you respond, friends and neighbors?

A: Mumble incoherently and turn to stare out the window
B: Gawp back in slack-jawed amazement
C: Recline his chair and ask him how he felt toward his mother
D: Other (write in your own)

Also, and loosely related, there is this (and its 'explanation'):

Japan Wrapup

I've mostly decompressed from the trip home, but I'm still not sure if I can put a god cap on the whole Japan experience. It's my own fault really. If I had been regularly blogging while I was there, I think I would be better arranged mentally. That is, after all, what this whole blog was all about in the first place. Anyway, I'll do what I can with a free-form bullet list, just to have an official Japan roundup post.

• The food was just what you would expect - very yummy, and mostly expensive. The noodle bars were cheap, but everyday got a little dull. Even though I am a sushi noob, I thought the sushi was great. The best restaurant was a little 4-foot wide shop that had homemade gyoza. No air conditioner and you sat cafeteria style anywhere there happened to be an open seat, but oh, so yummy - and a little pricey.
• Weather - holy crap. I can say that I truly loathe the Japanese summer. Stifling heat and humidity like Houston or something, plus the added joy of a close personal acquaintance with a couple hundred people every day on your subway car (which in view of the weather is often refrigerated to pneumonia-inducing temps. The worst thing, which reminds me of growing up in the mid and southern states, is that it doesn't cool off at night. Well, I mean, it does, but not enough to actually be comfortable. Oh, and you might think it would be better when it rains. Nope. Hot. Sticky. and you've got to carry the umbrella around all day. I've always said I'm all for four seasons, but maybe I'd actually just prefer three.
• Stereotypic Japanese weirdness - This might make me sound like a hypocrite (I defend myself by saying that everyone's got their kink), but the weirdness is a special kind of weirdness, it's true. The ubiquitous porn shops sell hard core porn, but then again, so do the regular stores (think about finding 'the 100-person orgy' at your local Borders or Best Buy). The kink-porn is there too - bondage, dress-up, hetro- and homosexual (although interestingly, the male/male gay porn seems to be of the impossibly cute boys variety marketed at young women kind of like the lesbian porn marketed at men in the US), and the truly disturbing violence and pedophilia porn too. Again, all in the local version of your Tower Records.
• Book culture. Oh, the books. There was an absolutely incredibly wonderful 'book-street' very nearby my school. It was about 3 long blocks worth of new and used bookstores. Most shops were tiny and specialized in a certain kind of used books, history, photo, art, pop fiction, Chinese, and even a really amazing English used book store that specialized in what seemed to be mostly 70's-80's era literature criticism, as well as a healthy used collection of the standard classics often large hardbound editions. yum.
• A sidebar to the book culture are the stationary shops. To be honest, most of my favorite shops were run by Korean folks, which I wouldn't note except for a racial tension that still exists over there, especially between other Asian folks. Anyway, the stores. Oh, my friends and neighbors who covet through the Levinger's catalog, Oh, my peers and kind readers who can easily spend 100 dollars at the Office Depot, Oh hie thee to Japan and roll around naked in the aisles of a stationary store in Japan. Ok, well, maybe not that last bit, but still. Think about endless shelves of pencils and pens in every color and size (from .25 to 1.!). Think wide varieties of paper in notebook, stationary and loose leaf, and oh, the folders and binders and markers and highlighters and such! Ah... good times...
  
• Language - Ok, My Japanese stinks. I mean, it's better than it was, but it's still pretty bad. Nothing beats being in the language environment to help though. The problem is that I haven't had to tackle a grammar heavy language in a very long time, and if Japanese has one thing, it's grammar, and grammar in spades. And then there's the politeness levels. For those who haven't looked into it, think about being able to say the phrase "Please buy an umbrella." in (at bare minimum in daily usage) through three entirely conjugations based on your relationship with the people who are listening to you. Now don't get me wrong, I love Japanese. One of the coolest things about learning a new language is learning all the subtleties that are native to it. The first time I realized that I was being called Overread-sama instead of Overread-san at certain places and what that entailed, I was thrilled with the discovery.
• Quick takes
• Subway - 85% awesome. Why can't we have that here?
• Onsen - 99% awesome. Why can't we have those here?
• Right wing xenophobic nutjobs 100% not awesome. Why do we have those here too?
• Yasakuni Shrine - gorgeous but tainted. At least Arlington doesn't have war criminals

Ok, that's huge. I'll leave it there for now. There are some things that really bothered me there, but I really had such a wonderful time. There's so much that I didn't get to see and really want to go back.

Well Hello There

Fancy meeting you here. I hear that this place used to post blog entries. Well, that's the rumor anyway.

Ok, ok, I've tried to keep up with the 365, but the word-blog has gone down the tunes - as Optimus Prime says in quite possibly the worst-written movie big-money movie ever, "My bad."

So, one of the reasons I haven't been posting is that for the last couple of days I've been trying to get home. It worked, and I'm home again, but getting ready and fishing up everything over there was a big drain on my blogging time. I hope I'll have time to post some thoughts about it all a bit later, but as you can tell from my flickr stream, I had a blast.

I did get the postcards out, so I hope those are arriving soonish, there are perhaps a couple of goodies for a fishy blogger out there - although I should apologize in advance, I could not overcome my shame in order to buy one of the little 12-year-old 38DDD micro miniskirt-wearing schoolgirl figurines. You'll have to go there and get that yourself.

My bad.

Surf the Earth

Woohoo felt this one too!

Weekend Wrap-up Plus!

I realize that I owe you folks the end of that odd story I started, jeeze, a few weeks ago, and I imagine I'll get to it, but in the meantime, a couple of quick notes.

1. I did end up wearing the Yukata and going out to serve as spectacle in the audience at a fireworks show. The Yukata was really comfy, if a touch warm (but let's face it, Japanese summer is just too blasted hot no matter what I do or do not wear). The geta shoes however, were awful. Perhaps I wore them wrong or got a cheap pair or something, but holy ouch. I've got red welts on the tops of my feet even now. (for those that know my secret identity, there are photos of the yukata and myself in it on my non-flickr photo website for your chucklement)


2. After the fireworks, we went to the Ooedo Onsen Monogatari, and while I can't condone their use of the Papyrus font, they run a wonderful onsen. Some of the pools were so boiling hot that I got light-headed when getting out. Some were so chilled that I had to dunk in quickly to get the icy shock over with quickly before to wonderful cool sucked away the muggy Japanese summer. And some? Some were just so wonderfully perfect that I didn't want to get out at all. Why oh why oh why are there no such things in the US? I wonder that in might do a good service to the collective psychological freakshow that is the American body-image if we did have some of these. Then again, perhaps Japan isn't the place to be looking for ideals when it comes to such things. I shall definitely return before I go back to the US.

3. Speaking of things that are unique to these isles, I'm afraid that the hunt for the machine that vends, errr... odd pieces of clothing may be a snipe hunt. My sincere apologies to those who were hoping for photos.

4. Finally, I took a quick trip to Kamakura to visit with the huge bronze Buddha. As a side note, I had to make a choice between hiking a mountain trail to the temple or going through town and hitting a whole lot of other temples on the way. I chose the hiking trail, which was wonderful, but I think I will need to go back and visit the other temples too. As for Mr. Amitabha, he seemed like a genial bloke, but didn't say much. I imagine it takes the patience of a buddha to not get a little miffed when there are uncountable tourists crawling inside you and taking pictures of you all day long. Also, I'm not sure why this was a surprise to me but, when the sun shines down all day with temperatures around the mid 90s and humidity seemingly north of 150%, being inside a giant bronze buddha feels a bit like being inside an oven set on 'crispify.'

5. The internet service here has been upgraded from colossal pain in the tush to mildly inconvenient. I hope I will be able to finally visit some of your blogs that I have long neglected. I hope I shall find all well.

6. Addresses are still being collected for special delivery postcards. If anyone else is interested, feel free to email me at Overerad(at)gmail(dot)com

Another Interlude

I just got ahold of some postcards. Anyone want one? If you do, email me your address and I'll send one out to you from the land of the disturbing tentacle comics. I'll follow the Profgrrrrly model and swear on a stack of figurative copies of the Harry Potter series that I will do no evil with the information and will delete your email and forget your name and address after I mail off the postcard.

Some of the postcards are pretty cool, too :) If you want a specific kind of postcard, let me know and I'll see what I can do.

Oh - note to family members who have recently moved: I need your new address. :P

ETA: whoopsie! Emails can be sent to Overerad(at)gmail(dot)com