I’m going to drop the COD.
It’s killing me to admit it, but the class is moving too fast, and it’s taking up too much of my time. I was really way behind the curve to begin with, and now things are moving on and I’m still struggling with concepts that the new formulations are built upon. It’s a pity on many levels. The instructor is excellent in his knowledge and in his pedagogy (a rare thing indeed). When I do get around to getting back into that field (and I will), I hope that I can get someone like him to help me.
In trying to make myself feel better about all this, I can say that I took the class not because I need to master the material for my research, or because a ‘higher up’ recommended that I ought to, but because I thought it could possibly have some tangential use, and also, I admit sotto voce, because I thought it would look good on the PhD applications that are going out in the fall.
The fact is, however, that I need to get x number of y’s done on my own research this summer and with this class taking up the time that it is, I just don’t see that happening. The needs of The Thesis trump all. Also, Prof Article mentioned that summer burnout is a very bad thing, and that I already looked like I was getting a bit twitchy.
I’m honestly feeling really crappy about admitting that this is something that I can’t do. I’m going to tell myself that this is something that I can do. It’s just something that I can’t do right now.
I am going to keep the photography class, because it doesn’t take up nearly the amount of time, and because sanity-wise, I need it a lot more.
1 comment:
Please don't be too hard on yourself. The thesis is the goal, and it should trump everything. And Prof. Article is correct about summer burnout.
Maybe if you think about it this way it will help: It's not that you can't do the COD (undoubtedly you can), but rather that you don't have the time to do it at the level of proficiency that you demand of yourself. That doesn't make you a failure; it merely means that there are a finite number of hours in a day.
In any case, chin up and think about that thesis!
\*/
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