Your Friendly Neighborhood Curmudgeon

Kids these days, I tell ya...

• Item #1: From a shirt on a mere slip of a girl weighted down with half her body weight in mascara: You want me - you just don't know it yet.
• Um, yeah, I am very much not aware of wanting you. This is true.
• Item the Second: Now, I know very well that there are many reasons for wearing a monstrously huge parka, mittens and what looked like Wookie chaps (those would be chaps made from the hide and fur of a Wookie). For instance, it may be cold somewhere where you happen to be. I can say, however, that if the temperature wavers around the mid-70s, then you do not need the parka. If you feel you do, then head down to the clinic, because your body isn't working. Also, your parka is ugly.
• Item 3 in a series of 3: You know that old saying about everything being funnier with monkeys? It's very true. Oh, so true. I shall submit further possible rules.
  
• Other things that make stories funnier:
  
• Being somewhere where you don't understand other people and they don't understand you.
• The Russian Mafia
• alcohol
  
• falling down stairs (related to previous bullet point)
• Pumas (see Smothers' Brothers)
• All of these things rolled up in one story told by a man with a great accent
• Things that make a story less funny
• Being somewhere where you don't understand other people and they don't understand you.
• The Russian Mafia
• Alcoholism
• Falling down stairs (related to previous bullet point or not)
• Pumas (The shoes. They just aren't funny.)
• The more recent movie remake of King Kong

As far as I'm concerned, I may be better off making item three into my dissertation.

Monkeys. Hehehe

P.S. I hope I get another opportunity to tag another post 'Wookie Chaps' sometime in the future