Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you guys, I had the perfect New York City morning yesterday. I went out to get bagels for breakfast. There was an insanely long line with only one guy at the counter. When I got there, there was one woman at the front of the line holding everything up while she decided what kind of shmear (schmear?) to put on her single untoasted plain bagel. 5 minutes later I got to the front of the line and got a real quality NYC scornful sneer from the counter guy. Then, as if it couldn't get better, I moved to the cashier line where the guy in front of my was texting War and Peace on his blackberry. He would type, and the counter intelligence folk would tell him how much he owed and then he would finish his sentence and the ask how much he owed before digging around in his pocket for change. After handing over the change he started typing again, only to be interupted by the CI guy trying to give him his change. The them proceeded to finish typing that sentence before putting out his hand to get the change. Then he didn't move. I had to basically elbow him out of the way to get to the counter to pay for my bagel.
I guess if I were a New Yorker, I would have cussed him out and told him that I was walking there.
Bonus New Yorker-tude: (Although actually, this is very par for where I live.)
I was running this morning and headed toward a crosswalk. A giant Fuck-The-World SUV was coming my direction, but making a left turn (toward me). I had the light, so I went into the crosswalk, with my eyes locked on the driver of the Screw-The-Planet SUV (I've been in this situation many times). Naturally, she looked me in the eye and proceeded to make the left hand turn into my crosswalk. As I have been trained when approached by wild animals, I puffed up my feathers to appear larger than I am while spreading out my arms and waving them at the idiot in the I've-Got-Money-And-No-Soul SUV. She got within 5 feet or so before slamming on her brakes and gesturing rudely toward your correspondent for daring to follow the rules of the road and have the gall to impair her ability to ignore the world around her. I have to say, that horrible piece of Offense-Toward-the-World SUV has good brakes though.
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6 comments:
Man, you came within inches of becoming Overrun.
You're in New York? Uhhh, thanks for letting me know.
Nah, I'm not really in NYC, it just felt like that yesterday :)
Now that I think about it, maybe Overrun would be a better pseudonym for me anyway....
Ahh, OK. But weird--it really reads like you're here. Here being my here.
Yeah, reading it again it really does read that way. hehe, maybe I shouldn't be in a field where writing clearly is a wee bit important
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