Why?

There's voodoo in the air in the Land o' Overread. We're a very small department. Almost a subsection of another department. As of right now we've only got a MA program, and this year we're graduating only a handful of folks. Here's the thing that's got me flummoxed. I think I'm the only one who is really aiming for a career in academia. One officemate is running away from university altogether. She's got a couple of 'real' jobs lined up. She'll probably be pulling a hefty paycheck down from a giant megaconglomocorp within a couple months of graduation. Another officemate half-heartedly applied to PhD programs, but has now all but decided that she really would prefer to drop off the face of the earth and go play somewhere else. I'm kind of jealous. Another officemate (did I mention I've got about a sitcom's worth of officemates?) has decided that she really wants to go be with her husband and spot living on opposite sides of the country. She's applied places too, but I don't think she'll accept.

The crux of my current pondering is that I really respect these people and each of their choices. They are very gifted and capable people. I'm jealous of each one in different ways. Although I should be happy that there are less people in the field for me to butt heads with when job-hunting comes around :), I find myself a bit pensive. Why in the world am I doing this? Why am I wanting to be a horribly over-educated, underpaid, overworked, and possibly chronically unemployed academic? Even the title can be dismissive. It's all academic, right?

I'm not having a crisis of purpose or anything, and I know that this job is definitely not for everyone, but I wonder what little electrical impulses are firing in my brain that are firing differently in their brains. Lemmings all think they're right until they hit the water, right?

(This post might have been brought on by the fact that one of the big unis I applied to said that their decisions would be made in about 2 weeks)