Early Onset Alzheimer's

Things I have misplaced today:

• sunglasses
• where I left them on the counter
  
• keys
• where I left them on the bookshelf
  
• that book I should have been reading
• it was in my bag
• extra bonus - I looked in the bag multiple times and didn't see it
• combination lock
• in the old workout bag
  
• sanity
• TBA
  

All but the last have been recovered.

View From the Sidewalk

On the run this evening, I saw about 20 or so people sitting in line on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. They had chairs and blankets and coolers and stuff. I thought they might be getting ready to go see a game of something, but they weren't in team colors and they looked like they were settling in for a long time. I was running two big long loops, so I had time to think about what in the world they might be doing. by the time I got back to them, I realized it. Around the corner is the big techie store. They were waiting for this. It doesn't come out until Friday. Ok, folks, I'm a huge geek, but that... that's beyond the pale. And let me tell you, some of the people in line were really really pale. :)

I Know...

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On The Couch

I think part of the reason for my lack of posts lately is more than simply the fact that I don’t sit in front of the computer 7 hours out of every day like I did at Old U. I think it’s something a little more fundamental. I imagine it’s not odd or unexpected that a switch to a bigger and more ‘important’ university would lead to stress, anxiety and self-questioning. I generally hate doing or being thought of as doing what is expected, but there you have it – I’m having a bit of an stress crisis.

Part of it comes from simple insecurity. The main seminar I’m in right now is on a topic that I don’t consider strictly in my realm of study, but I’m wondering more and more if it isn’t dealing with a lot of topics that I need to be able to manipulate well. Add to that the fact that the class I’m TAing now (and will be for the foreseeable future) is one that I feel more than a little bit uncomfortable teaching, and it all adds up to me feeling that I’m not doing what I want to be doing, and I don’t feel particularly effective doing what I’m doing.

So. I’m buried in work about things that I believe are important but not particularly interesting or as rewarding as I would like, and worried that this is what the next 5 years (perhaps the entire academic career?) will be like.

All this makes me feel sluggish. I’m not running as much as I used to. I’m sleeping more than I should. I feel like my brain is set on slow. I sometimes struggle to force myself to read through a page of words that swim around the page only to realize that I didn’t really understand any of it and have to start again. I'm pretty lazy to begin with, but now it seems to be getting worse.

As an optimist against all reason, I should say that I’m glad I’m in the seminar, and I am getting a lot out of it. I’m glad I’m TAing the difficult class for a lot of reasons. I really do think things will come out all right, even though I couldn’t tell you how. I just hope that I’ll be able to find something to re-inspire me – something challenging but that I know I can do, and do well.

I’ve got a pile of grading I don’t want to do, several chapters left to read (at least they’re in English), and a response paper to write, but I think I’m going to put on my running clothes and see if that convinces me to get out the door and run.

Edited to add: Because of the Blogger outage, I didn't post this right after I wrote it, but I did get out and do a long run. It felt pretty good.

8.88mi - 1:05'55"

Rock, Paper Scissors

I looked around but the paper they had didn't explain its strengths and they weren't selling any rocks.

You Are Cordially Invited

To beat my score of 879 on this trigram game.

I nearly got stumped on a couple of them :(


And yes, I should be grading.

Curiouser and Curiouser

I have received a mysterious missive from a million-mile away man. Because of blocking by a blockheaded former bloc-land, he became bereft of blogger. Consequently, he came to be incapable of commenting. Crap.

Anyway - his emailed comment was that while I do look a bit like Mr. Bart, I am much closer to Ex-Daily Show and 40-Year Old Virgin Steve Carell. I have to agree. I think I look more like him than Roger.

So Overread is a mix of this and that, but poorer and less popular than either.

PS. It seems that mentioning Desperate Housewives really drives traffic. I doubt it's what they're searching for though.

Edited:
Hotlinking images is sometimes bad, sometimes funny. This time it was funny. I've been a good boy and removed the hotlinked images :)
PS - Roger Bart? is that a porn name?

I Know I'm Desperate, But I Didn't Think It Would Turn Out Like This

Well, it seems inescapable. I am Roger Bart. Two more people confirmed that I could be no one else. He's my doppleganger. This would be very cool if I could cash his checks, although I hear he died on the show, so the checks might not be as good now. Maybe I can at least get into swanky restaurants or something.

Are there any cool things I could do if I were passing myself off as a TV star?

Stop Them Before They Sing Again

Helpful hints and comments from Overread to the nice young women in the band that was playing outside the student center-ish place on campus:

1. Learn to sing. Really. It'll help. The guitars and drums sounded ok as I walked by, but unless you got a whole lot better, you need a singer. Because despite what you may think, you don't have one.
2. I understand that it's good to try to get the crowd all riled up and all, but after the first 10 or so times of trying to get them to chant your name, if they still don't, you may want to move on and umm... play some music or something. I would still advise against singing though (see #1)
3. Were you all drunk? Stoned? or just very uncoordinated?

Perhaps all of these boil down to #3.

Bonus quote from the Prostelitizer's Alley:

[Shouted loudly enough for me to hear from far far away]: "Get your religion out of my face!"

Again, In Lieu of Content....

'Cause I'm sure that someone needs this.

4.49mi - 31'55"

Perhaps a shorter run would have been... um smarter.

ouch, ouch, ouch...

Oh, and thanks to the humiliation of the iSweat Nike+ thingamabob, I can now easily see that it has been 3 full weeks since my last run. Gee. Thanks.

Along those lines. They ran the Chicago Marathon Today. The winner slipped and fell as he crossed the finish line. Expect this in video on Youtube any second now.

If You Blog It, You Will Go.

I'm feeling oh, so blah. I haven't run in a couple of weeks. Coincidence? I think not. The tough this is that running seems to be a self perpetuating thing. You feel good and through experience, you know that running helps you feel good so you keep doing it. On the other side, you feel lazy and blah, and because running takes energy and commitment, being blah and lazy makes you run less. So it just gets worse.

So, I have a whole crapload of stuff to get done today. I've finished my daily 'must surf' internet (more on that later), and I'm going to make time to go on a run. Like, now. And because I've blogged it, I can't back out, 'cause like, my 3 remaining readers (hi guys!) would make fun of me and I'm easily shame-able.

So - in closing, I give you the fruits of today's surfing (what can I say - I like strange ads):


Maybe I should just turn this into a video posting site. Sigh...

Is Nothing Sacred?

Why, no. Since you've asked, no, nothing's sacred.

Fraggle Rock: The Movie

Oh, yes - just in case you forget:

A Question of Qontent

See, here's the thing. I don't sit in front of a computer all day anymore. At Old U, I came in early, dumped all my bags and books and such in my office and wondered off to class. Between and after classes, I'd go back to the office and read, study, or... umm... well, blog.

And that's the thing. Finding time and opportunity to blog is a bit harder here at New U. I don't intend on stopping the blogging (and who knows, maybe the lyrics quizzes may pop back up from time to time), but it's going to take awhile for me to get into a new groove.

So, for now, let's see what I can put into bullets.

• Seminar OF DOOM is still kicking my tush. I'm feeling very underprepared in the theory department, but hey, that's one of the reasons I'm taking the seminar, right? I am however reading faster and better in the really hard language though, and that's clearly thanks tot he fact that I have to - 'natch. I'm still going to bitch about it though.
  
• I'm better at some things than others, and I think I may be enjoying that a little too much.
• I had to be videotaped TAing the class today. It was pretty disruptive. I don't think it's a good idea to bring a huge tripod-mounted video camera (VHS? are we breaking into brand new 80s tech?) into a class that needs a very secure and mistake-friendly environment. The cameraman looks bored. Maybe I should have asked him a few questions. In any case I think it went ok, but I'm not looking forward to reviewing the tape with the whole 'Who wants to be a TA?' seminar.
• I'm eating way too much and exercising not enough.

In closing, I present a scene from the theatre of the absurd as performed outside the student union-ish building.

[White Christian Proselytizer Dude stands in front of a table that is covered in pamphlets. He sees Asian-Looking Gal approaching. He dives behind his table and frantically shuffles through his pamphlets as ALG draws near. ALG passes near the table. WCPD jumps in front of her and thrusts a pamphlet covered in Korean characters under her nose.]

WCPD: [Victoriously] IS THIS YOUR LANGUAGE?

[ALG, after recovering well from a near cardiac arrest, applies a stare that could kill. WCPD watches ALG stride angrily away. WCPD sadly returns to his post dejected but undaunted, and awaits his next victim]

fin

And Now, For Something Completely Different

In lieu of content, I present to you, my childhood:

Yummy Licrorice, Odd Warning

Yummy! Gotta love black licorice (couldn't even get the photo before the bag was empty :) )



However, when I look closer at the bag...




Not for weight control? ummm... Has this been a problem? Forget eating less. Forget exercise. I'm going to start gorging on black licorice. Yeah, good plan, friend.

I'm A Big Boy Now!

The bed came! The desk came! Guess which has gotten more use so far. :(

If you guessed the desk, then you are sadly correct. The bed is quite nice and comfy (although now I want new bedding too). It's a little bouncy too, which is fun. As for the desk, it's wonderful to actually have a usable workspace in the place where I live - especially since I don't have a good office. I haven't had that for... well, even longer than I haven't had a real bed. Anyway putting both in the room required a bit of tetris-like arranging, but I think it's all good now. I still need one more big bookcase - like one of those nice 6 footersbefore I can finally get completely out of boxes... sigh... but alas, that's not going to happen for awhile, if ever.

Updates:
Seminar OF DOOM: I'm done with the chapters (2, English) and 2.5 articles (insanely hard foreign language). Now don't tell me that I've still got several articles left to read before tomorrow, because I don't want to hear it. Oh yeah, and a response paper. Gah.

TA class: I'm going to be filmed? Twice? Ugh. I mean pedagogically, I can see why, but but but... I don't wanna.

Class I'm TAing: Hehe... They think I know what I'm doing. Hehe... Oh, hello there, what's this? Homework!? Umm... I don't remember agreeing to this. I mean, a couple of papers, maybe, but homework grading? sigh... Oh, yeah, there's a quiz to grade too. Maybe tomorrow?

Now! Back to the stack of articles!

PS: Best misheard lyric: "Hold me closer, tiny Danza."

Yesterday - All My Mucus Seemed So Far Away

Yesterday was mostly very cool. There was that incident - with the photocopier (I guess we're not supposed to say Xerox machine anymore, are we?). There was also the other incident with the photocopier. All I have to say is that I didn't do it. It was like that when I got there.

Also, maybe this says something about me, or maybe it's universal, but if you need something done really fast, and I'm the guy to do it, just tell me what needs done and I'll do it. If I have questions, I'll ask. I don't need to know why the problem exists, and I don't need to know who screwed everything up as some kind of Stanislavski motivation to get the thing done. Most importantly, I don't think the 99+ other people in the room needed to know who screwed everything up. Maybe that's partially because I don't believe he screwed it up in the first place, but there you are.

That being said, after the crisis is over, I'll be happy to gossip with you about who screwed up. I know, I know, I'm awful that way.

The untaintedly wonderful part of the day was my blogger meetup. I know, I've known her forever, but we rarely get to sit down and chat without other distractions. We got to mosey around campus, and I got to show off the gorgeous buildings and the curiously (or perhaps not so curiously) phallic statuary. I even got to see her in professional mode when she was talking shop with other shop talkers. Very cool. I've never seen her do that.

As always, there wasn't enough time, but I guess it's all about leaving before we get sick of each other so that we'll want to meet up again, right? :)

And, finally, yes, I am getting sick (took me long enough to get around to the title, didn't it?). So rather than dive immediately into the readings again, I'm going to curl up, watch a movie and go to bed. Netflix just sent me Fun with Dick and Jane (the new version), and I think that's probably the perfect movie to sleep through.

You Could Cut the Tension With a Suitable and Well-Maintained Tension-Cutting Apparatus

Bullets of varying length and value:

• Whooo! the first seminar meeting has come and went and I am in deep doo-doo. The class is interesting. Not really my bag (baby), but an interesting topic anyway, but the real killer is that the professor, who is a well-known up-and-comer in the field is a lover-of-theory. This is terrifying to me. I know I need to be acquainted with more theory, if only to defend myself against it, but this seminar is going to be thick with it. It builds character, right? Who knows, maybe I'll find something useful. maybe I'll become a theory hound myself.
  

• On the plus side, I'm not the only one spooked. Some of the other grad folks are planning pre-seminar pow-wows to try to get our minds around the ideas.
  

• Oh yeah, did I mention that 90% of the reading (and there is a lot of it, too) is in a second language to me? And not just any second language, but a frickin' crazy hard second language? No? Well, it is. Theory. In another language. I'm not a bright man.
  

• There is stress (the tension of the title) between some of the TAs and the prof. Oooooo. edgy.
  

• Said prof is holding a meeting for all of us TA folk exactly at the time I should be happily chatting with a blogging buddy over dinner. We are trying to schedule around the meeting. Grrr...
  

• My bike was not ready today, and for that I am sad
  

• I broke down and bought a bed. This is partially in response to Zerodoll's live for today post (which I can't seem to find so I've just linked to her homepage). I've lived far too long without a bed (nearly what, about 5 years now?) and it's hight time I do better for myself.
  

• I broke down and bought a computer desk. This is partially because my office sucks. It's in one of the most beautiful and oldest buildings on campus, but it's also used by about 20 other folks and there's no way to lock anything up, so you can't actually leave anything there. I thought I might be able to get along without a desk, but it looks like I'm going to be doing a lot of work at home :(
  

• Desk and bed will be arriving Saturday (so they say). They ain't DWR or anything, but I'll get some photos for yas - if they look ok. :)
  

4.42mi - 31'29"

For me the hardest thing is putting on clothes - running clothes, you freaks. No offense though, some of my best friends are freaks. I really am a very lazy person. Every day I battle the get my ass moving fight. I really love lying down and watching tv. And now - because the new roomie's girlfriend's family had an extra - we have a couch. That means I can sit on a very comfy couch and watch tv, or read, or even nap! Oh! the wonders of modern... um... furniture?

Where I'm going with this is that once I get my running gear on, I've pretty much committed to running. I guess it's because I would feel goofier than normal sitting on the couch eating chips in my sweat-wicking shirt and spandex and such. This is also, I imagine, an argument for getting specific clothes for working out. If I just ran in a tshirt and regular shorts, it would be less of a commitment to movement and I could stay on the couch. That, and because I sweat like a racehorse I need the sweat wicking stuff, but perhaps that's another story.

Yesterday I didn't make it. I was going to run in the morning, but I... just... couldn't... make it... to... the... closet... Ok, fair criticism - that's too many ellipses, but the point is there. Lest anyone be inspired by my running, know that I'm not a workout guy. I'm lazy. And, now that I've got a couch, I intend to take full advantage of it.



These hills are really starting to take their toll. Long and souls destroying. ugh.