Doom Be Upon You

If:

• You leave five copies of a huge file in the print queue and then let the paper run out so that when I refill the paper, I have to wait for all your crap to print out before I can get to mine.
• You walk in the bike path. This is a seasonal pronouncement, as last year's recipients have either learned where the sidewalk is or have been since run over. It's the new arrivals that need doom brought upon them. Either than or an 18-speed to the shin. That'll learn 'em
• You insist that writing a paper on 'Irrelevant Topic A.' Yes, I did say that writing on a topic that interests you will generally lead to a better paper, but we are not studying 'Irrelevant Topic A.' Nothing remotely related, in fact. Try again.