Here’s another odd thing. Prof Article asked me why I’m always so happy. It was almost accusatory. It’s not the first time I’ve been asked this. I get asked it all the time. It’s starting to make me wonder. Today was a new one though - she asked if I was on anti-depressants. Why am I more conspicuously happy than other folks? It seems that people see me as being too happy. I admit it, I’m happy.
It’s not like I don’t have problems: financial, personal, physical, academic, you name it, and I’ve probably got related problems, but I’m not going to put them out in front of everyone that I see every day.
Now I’m becoming self conscious about it. Am I coming across as manically happy? Is being happy a bad thing in academe? Should I wear my stress and angst on my face so that everyone will see that I am properly suffering as a grad student should? Frankly, I’m not sure I could do that.
5 comments:
It's great that you're happy. I think it's probably unusual among grad students, but I don't think the happy person should be questioned about it. I'm similar -- I am quite anxious about a lot of things, yet people tell me how I seem so happy. Perhaps you could take it as a compliment.
just tell them you're consitpated. they'll stop questioning you.
Sounds like good advice. I'll take it as a compliment and then say I'm constipated. :)
It is definitely uncool to be happy in academia. How dare you have the arrogance to be so clearly satisfied with yourself and your work? But worse, your happiness indicates that you may actually have the audacity to have a life outside of academia, which we all know is expressly and absolutely forbidden. What are you thinking? You must now perform a self-flaggelation, purchase and wear a hair-shirt, and a spend the next three weeks in dank, dark room (without fun photography apparatuses) to lose this unnatural state of being and acquire the correct academic demeanor.
No, seriously, OR, hang on to this joy as hard and as long as you can. It is a blessing and a gift, and it is also probably very nice for other embittered academics to be around (Prof. Article is surely just jealous).
BTW - your post about connecting/not connecting to your father through photography was lovely and haunting. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your comments, Stewgad. I debated a while on whether to post that photo post. I'm still not convinced I was right, but I'm happy to read you appreciated it.
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