Link Dump - Jittery Novak Edition

We all know that we’re headed to hell in a handbasket, but it’s important to know the people stepping on the gas pedal. In our handbasket. That is going to hell. With us inside it.

Ok, so the imagery’s shot. Work with me, people.

Passed along by the fish, but seemingly old news to folks more on top of dystopian futures than I am is the new Conservative Comic (shouldn’t it be Konservative Komic?) Liberality. I’ll let them dig their own hole here:

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists which have yielded governing authority to the United Nations. It is up to an underground conservative group (known as F.O.I.L.) led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City.

Although I will note that apparently Sean,G.G., and Oli are cyberneticaly enhanced.

Oy.

Next on the hit parade is a bit more up to date. During a show on CNN with Carville, Mr. Novak seemed to go a bit batty. Well, more batty than usual. He just said that it was all bullshit and left. (It should be noted that he left to stage right, but we probably could have guessed that). CNN has asked that he "take some time off." Current speculation is that:

A: He knew he was going to get drilled on Plame and Rove so he found a way to duck out

B: He is suffering a nervous breakdown and/or

C: He was drunk off of kiester (I can’t believe that Word doesn’t have this work in spellcheck (ask and the internets provide, glory be to the Randomhouse)).

D: CNN's been trying to nudge him out of their network for awhile, and this is a convenient excuse for them both.

Interesting thoughts all around.

Speaking of batty politicos, Kim Jong-il hit eleven holes-in-one when he played golf for the first time. I’m thinking he should go on the tour and use the winnings to feed his country, or buy a nuke or two – ya know, whichever’s easier.

Ok, politics are over, you can open your eyes now.

Have you ever thought that the alphabet is a bit, well… unstylish? I think that there is good cause to take another look at the lowly letters with which we’ve all be saddled. Changes are needed!