Graders in the Mist

Modern science doesn’t completely understand why, but apparently, ‘graders’ amass very large stacks of ‘essays.’  Generally, once a certain critical mass of essays has been reached, the grader will angrily attack the essays with colorful pens.  The process, although seeming to be simple enough, leaves the graders in great distress, often moaning and sobbing before making various indecipherable marks on the essays.  The process also seems to require a great deal of an extract of the coffee bean, but alas, as with much of these mysterious creatures and their world, the reason why still yet eludes us.  

Today, I placed myself in an area where these graders are known to loiter.  Much to my surprise and delight, I was given a rather large stack of these essays.  Am I then to become a ‘grader,’ myself?  

The Alpha Female of the group told me that today we are hunting what I had studied as the elusive thesis undergradicus, but here seems to be referred to as ‘the damn point,’ as in “What is the damn point of your paper, John?”  I was told that such a thing exists, but to be frank, I never saw it.  Like the Yeti, chupacabra, or the well-paid graduate position, it may be simply a legend.  I was likewise stymied in my search for the ‘well-argued point’ the ‘correctly spelled plural third person pronoun,’ and the ‘proper citation.’

There is still so much unknown, but I can say that I learned much among those gentle, but easily riled creatures of the café.  May they and their lands be protected, and may they find gainful employment.  

If perchance, you find yourself in a café, and an anguished cry of, “How did you graduate high school?” echoes through the room, don’t be alarmed.  Don’t approach the grader.  They are often beyond the reach of logic by this point.