Honey, Where Are My Jackboots?

Thank goodness the Pentagon thinks these things through. The US would face a long, hard-fought war against the code-named 'RED' nation:

The planners anticipated a war "of long duration" because "the RED race" is "more or less phlegmatic" but "noted for its ability to fight to a finish."

Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman said he'd never heard of the plan.
He also said he wouldn't admit to knowing about such a plan if he did..."We don't talk about any of our contingency plans," he said.

The kicker is that it's all about plans to invade... Wait for it... Canada. Yup. Ok, well, it's all about pre-WWII plans, but still, today it seems wonderfully hilarious.

The wiley Canadians were prepared as well:

His "Defence Scheme No. 1" called for Canadian soldiers to invade the
United States, charging toward Albany, Minneapolis, Seattle and Great
Falls, Mont., at the first signs of a possible U.S. invasion.

There's even a unknown (to me, anyway) history of agression between the two nations even after the War of 1812 with horriffic casualties:

In 1839, Americans from Maine confronted Canadians in a border dispute known as the Aroostook War. "There were never any shots fired," said Etzinger, the Canadian Embassy
spokesman, "but I think an American cow was injured -- and a Canadian
pig."

Don't underestimate our seemingly pacific northern neighbors:

Etzinger, the Canadian Embassy spokesman, isn't worried about an
American invasion because Canada has a secret weapon -- actually
thousands of secret weapons.

"We've got thousands of Canadians in
the U.S. right now, in place secretly," he said. "They could be on your
street. We've sent people like Celine Dion and Mike Myers to secretly
infiltrate American society."

Via no great matter and robmacdougall's History Carnival. All quotes from the WaPo article.