Excuse Me, I'm Going to Need to See Your Fashion License

Ok, folks, now, as your TA*, I feel that I should let you in on some news you can use. I'm speaking in particular to the double-chromosomed among you. I realize that as the weather gets warmer, many of you are deciding to wear less clothing. I completely agree that this is a good idea and I support your choice as far as that goes. Now, as I am a heterosexual man, you might think that I am particularly in favor of the women among you wearing much less clothing. While I am a great admirer of the female form, there are some issues here. First, you are in a classroom situation, this might suggest a slight need for a little bit of decorum. Also, there is a difference between comfortable and cool clothing and oh, so very trashy. Finally, what the fuck? Did you really choose to wear that? With that in mind, I offer some warning signs that you may want to rethink your wardrobe:

• The neck of your blouse/shirt/top ends at your belly button
• even moreso if you are wearing a granny bra
• Also, go get your bra size checked. You aren't the size you were when you were 15. Seriously, folks, that looks painful.
  
• If you are wearing a micro-mini skirt, go ahead a put a sweatshirt or bag or something in your lap when you sit down, and go ahead and keep your knees together or legs crossed.
• I don't care what fashion says, I still really really really don't want to see half-way down your crack. really. I don't.
  
• Your heels are so high that you can't actually walk
• Although I have to admit it is hilarious to see you running to classes in flip-flops.
• Remember that when you are walking up stairs there will be people behind you that are eye-level with your butt. Perhaps the very thin white pants are not the best choice to pair with your teddy-bear undies.
  
• Admittedly, they were cute.
  

* Note that your TA is particularly fashion-challenged, and no one who should be listened to when it comes to clothing suggestions. Go here for better fashion advice.

What, Me Advise?

I got a note from a student a few days ago entitled "Thinking about dropping - advice?"

He's a good student, and he's doing fine in the class, but I can see that he's a stressball. He transfered into USU from a community college, and I think he may be still a bit overwhelmed about what he's being required to do in classes here. Added to that, my class is a monster timesink. There's a big classtime commitment and the expectation is that people really need to put in at least an hour at home for every hour in class (aren't all classes supposed to be like that? 20 credit hours = full time student, right?).

So anyway, I asked if he wanted to meet up and talk about what was going on. He said he was really trying to keep a 4.0 is his core classes and my class was eating too much into his other study time. The class is also just hard. It's really not intuitive to most folks, and although it does get easier with time, we increase the speed as we move along.

It's all understandable. Major classes are obviously more important to graduation that mine. He's taking this class because it may help his grad application look better (which it may), but mainly because he really likes the subject. We talked for a long while, and I aimed him toward a few folks that might advise him from a less biased point of view.

I was able to get him to stay in the class. I hope I did right by him, because he's doing fine in the class (and not taking it for a grade), but it's always going to be a timesink.

Long and rambling post, but I'm trying to post a bit more about what's going on in my world, so there ya go.

Good Chump/Good Samaritan

We, like most schools, I imagine, rely on the skills of overseas students for some of out TA slots. I think we're been pretty lucky in getting some real winners from our department and some stolen from other departments. However, we've got one now who... well, let's say he's not terribly popular amongst the students. That's a charitable thing to say. His accent is heavy, but that's not a big problem. He's just a really awkward person. He really has had a very hard time trying to figure out what US students and the atmosphere in a US class are like.

He's also had about the worst first couple of months in country as possible. One of the least catastrophic things involved basically the destruction of the apartment where he lived. As with most campus areas, there just aren't many options after school starts. Eventually, with the help of who knows what kind of dark mojo, the collective found him a place where he can move in. on the 5th. 5 days after he has to leave the hotel where his ex-landlord put him up.

three guesses on whose couch he'll be sleeping until then?

It's been suggested that I can take this as an opportunity to talk to him about TAing.

Have I mentioned that I don't like people?

This will be an interesting week.

If They Cared, They Wouldn't Turn The Stuff In

In the 'talk to the new TAs' session thingie, one of the other TAs mentioned that it was her policy to work 8-5 and not bring any work home. Does anyone do that? Is that possible? It sound like a wonderful idea.

Today I was going to bring home a pile of grading to take care of and considered if I should or not. It would be very good of me to finish it all and hand it back to the students by tomorrow. It would certainly beat all of my previous records for returning homework. Some students might even look over the homework and end up doing better on the quiz coming up on Monday.

Then again, I would love to just come home and read a book, or play a video game or just zone out and try to make a dent in my netflix queue. That's to say nothing of the work I need to do on my research stuff.

I brought the grading home. Will I grade it?

It Slices, It Dices, It Makes Julianne Classes

Oh, dear. This is going to be ugly.

Classes don't start for me for a little bit yet, so I'm just finding out how things are going to go down. Hoo-boy. So, I found out that I'm TAing the same course I did last year, which is good - it's probably my best fit here, and it's steady for the whole year. So, good.

But there's bad, too. There's real bad. Budget Cuts. The class is an intro class. A pretty big intro class. Think mid-low three digits. So, anywhoo, I just found out our class size got cut by about a third for this year because we can't afford to teach all the students who want to learn. Absolutely infuriating.

So while I'm really happy to see that I'm one of the few TAs who are still, um, employed, I am really not looking forward to the first day of class where I get to tell several dozens of students that I'd would love to have them in my class, but I can't let them in.

Usually, I have no problem telling students that there's no room in the inn, because, generally, they're the ones who never got their act together, didn't really want or need the class in the first place, and generally perform badly if I let them in anyway. That's the thing, too. If I feel there's just cause, the department usually gives me the final call if I want to let a latecomer in. And beyond that, there's generally only a handful that we can't get in one section or another.

This time, there are going to be majors and minors who need the class, freshmen who the department needs to court into becoming majors, and all sorts of quality folks that I'm going to have to turn away. And I'm going to probably have no call about letting in exceptional case beyond that.

Confidential to Dude in the Back Row

Ok, so the class I'm TAing for is a large one, and when I go to lectures I always try to sit inconspicuously in the back to see what the students do during lecture. You can probably figure it out. The ones up close are listening intently and scribbling notes. The students back by me? well... Here's a quick list

• In the annoying but not completely horrific category:
• Texting (xJust about everyone)
• In the distracting and annoying category:
• getting up and leaving out the loud doorway in the middle of lecture (x2)
  
• In the why don't you just stay home category:
• Solitaire on the laptop
• Soduku (x3 or 4)
• Sleeping
• In the Oh my god get a room! category:
• rubbing the upper inner thigh of the girl next to you. Constantly. For nearly the entire lecture. Yeesh. Who knew Gruub studies gets people so hot and bothered.
  

On another completely random note, in case you didn't know how, here's some excerpts from the book, On Becoming a Woman. It's filled with such useful information about how to avoid lesbian relationships, and the dangers of masturbation. Remember! Circumcision is always an option if you can find the right "Christian doctor." Brought to you by the loving care of 1951 misogyny.

• 
  

Ricola!

Right now I'm in the middle of an Apline stack of grading. It's interesting because the class that I'm TAing right now is so different from what I've generally taught in the past in content and methods too. As an example, I used to grade fairly long papers every few weeks and maybe a blue book test at the end. Now I'm grading homework assignments and quizzes and tests and all sorts of things every single frickin' day it seems, including some assignments that are incredibly subjective.

The subjective assignments are very difficult for me. If it's a paper or an exam, I can generally get a good grasp on whether or not the student understands the material or not, but with these, well, I'm going more on how I feel that they did. They're group projects too, so there are students who I know are good and competant but got dragged down by a less-than-stellar partner or two. There are also a couple students that I'm pretty suspicious of, but they didn't really do much, so I'm not sure how to evaluate them. As a student I really dislike those kind of assignments, and I have to say that I like them even less as a grader.

I will say that there are a couple of students who are really making me feel very good about this class. It's been like this every class I guess, but it's just because I'm looking at the gradebook right now, it comes to mind. I can see the grades of one particular student slowly, steadily move up and up. She was convinced that this class was just too complicated for her. Not so, I said, not so. A little while ago, she said she may just change her major.

A Lifted Pseudo-Meme!

Because I enjoyed it as Casa RV a little while ago, I'll bring you my version of:

An Activity: Draft a Response!

[Cheering!]

Info needed to craft a response to this email:

• we just finished class number nine for this session
• this is the first I heard that this guy was in my class
• This is a very technical class where every lesson builds critically on previous lessons. I can see no conceivable way even to talk about this lesson without a deep knowledge of the past nine classes.
• I came very close to splitting an infinitive in the previous bullet point. Can you guess where? Now that I look at it again, I hope you can.
  

From: 987452348756@0934785.com
To: Overread
Subject: Hey there!

Hey there! I'm G. Nius who barely hacked his way through your last class. How are things goin'? I just wanted to tell you not to drop me from this class. I haven't been to class yet because I just got back in town. Oh, and I'm not going to be in class tomorrow because I got stuck in City-Very-Much-Within-Driving-Distance. So I guess I'll make up all the quizzes when I get back?

G.

Sigh, He's actually a hard working guy and I'll try to help him out. Feh. I'm a pushover.

Enough about me! How would you answer?

I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore, ABBA

Well, things are just whirling around like a tornado around a drug addled gay icon. One of the most exciting things is that since I didn't take any grades last semester, I don't have a GPA, and since I don't have a GPA, I guess all the little forms are defaulting to a 0.00 GPA. Nice. That means I'm on the Important Academic Endangered Species List. Now, normally, it would be hard for me to care about that very much, except one cannot be on said list and still be a TA. Neat, eh? We'll see how this turns out. Here's hoping there's a petition of some kind.

Also, while not particularly worthy of note, my journey for lunch today was paradoxically noteworthy. There was a magical coupon that claimed to give $3 off a burger, fries and drink at a local sorta-campus place in an area of campus I had not seen yet. Now, I'm not as thrifty as I should be (more on that later), but I saw this as a challenge. Woohoo! Road Trip! Except it's on a bike. And just me. And there wasn't any singing. Well, I take that last one back. I did sing quite a bit of ABBA. Not well, but there it is.

Anyway, the trauma was that this little, umm... for lack of a better word, restaurant, was completely hidden. Not only was it deep in the bowels of the land of Scary Other Departments, but it was nearly surrounded by impassable construction barriers. Guess how many I hit before getting inside? If you guessed three, you'd be right.

On the plus side, I got my cheap burger, which wasn't so bad, fries, which were so-so, but came with a fun peppery powder, and soda, which was, as is standard for most fountain service, really crappy. On top of that, I got today's 365 photo, which was posted on the wall outside. The sign raises more questions than it answers. Truly perplexing.

Maybe I'll leave the story of my lack of thriftiness for another post. It should get here next week, anyway. :)

Bullets With Your Name On Them

Ok, well, most of my recent posts have been over at the 365 blog. No real, ya know, words lately. So. Here are some words.

• Note to self. Read all the emails from the prof whose class you are TAing immediately. One might mention that she's going to drop in to your section and observe on a upcoming Monday. So after you start class, she may just slip in to your class and make you freak out just a little bit.
  
• as a side note, the class went ok, mainly. The thing is that I have a different (very) teaching style than she does, and if I knew she was coming I probably would have prepared something a little less like my own class. So, from that point of view, it's probably for the best that I didn't know she was coming. I ended up just doing my thing. Students seem to like it.
• In the section she didn't observe, I did something really stupid. I won't say what it is, but jeeze, I've been kicking myself all day long. Grrr.
• I have a giant stack of papers to grade and I didn't look at them at all tonight.
  
• I am now grading with a green pen.
  
• I ran yesterday and didn't blog it. Here you go: 8.35mi - 1:02'46"
• Ever since I said I'm going to run the marathon coming up soonish, people have been worried about my knees. I think I got a psychosomatic knee-tweak yesterday. It feels fine now though.
  

Wow. First day of classes taken care of and it looks like it's going to be another doozey of a time. I've got two sections of my class with several returnees from before the break - mostly good folks, so that's all for the good, although tomorrow should be interesting. The lecture has three sections of ~100 students each and it's scheduled to take place in a 60 person maximum room - ah, fun.

I think I've finally settled on classes for myself, too, which is nice to know. I'm taking my first lecture class here at USU, and it looks very interesting. It's slightly out of my field, but in a way that I find very interesting. The prof is very confrontational and in your face (well, not yours really, unless you were there too, in which case, email me, we'll get together for a beer) , which ain't easy in a lecture. He actually pulled out some of his 'Rate Your Prof' comments - the ones that talked about how hard of a class it was and that all his lectures were boring. This man will merit close watching I'll wager.

The seminar o' the day is the first class I've got with my lead advisor, and the first meeting went pretty well. Actually, after class, I went to his office and talked for a couple of hours. That went really well. The one-on-one reminded me why I came here. After feeling very out of sorts in the fall seminar, I really felt like I could communicate with him. We talked about possible research tacks and then ended up just chatting. I really like this guy. I hope that this good vibe continues - I've got the feeling I'm going to need someone like that through this mess that is a PhD trek.

Oh, and what the hell's up with Ohio State?

A Switch in Time

There's a minor ick at USU (Urban Sprawl University - You like?).

We're planning out the next course in the series that I'm TAing, and we had all the times and dates down, so I let my students know which classes I'll be TAing so that they can avoid me next time or (god help 'em) choose to take the class with me. Anywhoo, it turns out that now I'm going to have to switch class times with another TA due to the other TA having a seminar that must be taken. The seminar time was TBA, but now it's been A'ed, and it conflicted, and I'm the only other TA that can cover the class that X is going to have to give up. In return, X is going to take one of my classes.

So, no real trouble except a minor inconvenience, right? Well, not so much. Naturally, all the students had to lock in their class choices early, and many chose based on the times I told them. See, I know I'm being less than kind here, but even though I like the other TA a lot, I'm finding it hard to answer my students when they say, "So how X as a TA?" 'Cause the thing is, well, I'm not sure I would want to take a class from X. Some of this impression of X as a TA is subjective, but some of it is fairly well-founded.

I tell them that X is a great person, but I haven't sat in on X's classes, so I don't know what they're like. That's all true, but it's a bit disingenuous.

The material for the classes will all be basically the same, but we're given a lot of leeway and have a huge impact on the class, and I'm sure part of this is overstating my own abilities and blindness toward my own faults, but I'm worried about my students.

On the other hand, there isn't much I can do but try to steer them toward other TAs if the can switch, and if they can't switch, well... Harumph...

On The Couch

I think part of the reason for my lack of posts lately is more than simply the fact that I don’t sit in front of the computer 7 hours out of every day like I did at Old U. I think it’s something a little more fundamental. I imagine it’s not odd or unexpected that a switch to a bigger and more ‘important’ university would lead to stress, anxiety and self-questioning. I generally hate doing or being thought of as doing what is expected, but there you have it – I’m having a bit of an stress crisis.

Part of it comes from simple insecurity. The main seminar I’m in right now is on a topic that I don’t consider strictly in my realm of study, but I’m wondering more and more if it isn’t dealing with a lot of topics that I need to be able to manipulate well. Add to that the fact that the class I’m TAing now (and will be for the foreseeable future) is one that I feel more than a little bit uncomfortable teaching, and it all adds up to me feeling that I’m not doing what I want to be doing, and I don’t feel particularly effective doing what I’m doing.

So. I’m buried in work about things that I believe are important but not particularly interesting or as rewarding as I would like, and worried that this is what the next 5 years (perhaps the entire academic career?) will be like.

All this makes me feel sluggish. I’m not running as much as I used to. I’m sleeping more than I should. I feel like my brain is set on slow. I sometimes struggle to force myself to read through a page of words that swim around the page only to realize that I didn’t really understand any of it and have to start again. I'm pretty lazy to begin with, but now it seems to be getting worse.

As an optimist against all reason, I should say that I’m glad I’m in the seminar, and I am getting a lot out of it. I’m glad I’m TAing the difficult class for a lot of reasons. I really do think things will come out all right, even though I couldn’t tell you how. I just hope that I’ll be able to find something to re-inspire me – something challenging but that I know I can do, and do well.

I’ve got a pile of grading I don’t want to do, several chapters left to read (at least they’re in English), and a response paper to write, but I think I’m going to put on my running clothes and see if that convinces me to get out the door and run.

Edited to add: Because of the Blogger outage, I didn't post this right after I wrote it, but I did get out and do a long run. It felt pretty good.

8.88mi - 1:05'55"

I'm A Big Boy Now!

The bed came! The desk came! Guess which has gotten more use so far. :(

If you guessed the desk, then you are sadly correct. The bed is quite nice and comfy (although now I want new bedding too). It's a little bouncy too, which is fun. As for the desk, it's wonderful to actually have a usable workspace in the place where I live - especially since I don't have a good office. I haven't had that for... well, even longer than I haven't had a real bed. Anyway putting both in the room required a bit of tetris-like arranging, but I think it's all good now. I still need one more big bookcase - like one of those nice 6 footersbefore I can finally get completely out of boxes... sigh... but alas, that's not going to happen for awhile, if ever.

Updates:
Seminar OF DOOM: I'm done with the chapters (2, English) and 2.5 articles (insanely hard foreign language). Now don't tell me that I've still got several articles left to read before tomorrow, because I don't want to hear it. Oh yeah, and a response paper. Gah.

TA class: I'm going to be filmed? Twice? Ugh. I mean pedagogically, I can see why, but but but... I don't wanna.

Class I'm TAing: Hehe... They think I know what I'm doing. Hehe... Oh, hello there, what's this? Homework!? Umm... I don't remember agreeing to this. I mean, a couple of papers, maybe, but homework grading? sigh... Oh, yeah, there's a quiz to grade too. Maybe tomorrow?

Now! Back to the stack of articles!

PS: Best misheard lyric: "Hold me closer, tiny Danza."

You Could Cut the Tension With a Suitable and Well-Maintained Tension-Cutting Apparatus

Bullets of varying length and value:

• Whooo! the first seminar meeting has come and went and I am in deep doo-doo. The class is interesting. Not really my bag (baby), but an interesting topic anyway, but the real killer is that the professor, who is a well-known up-and-comer in the field is a lover-of-theory. This is terrifying to me. I know I need to be acquainted with more theory, if only to defend myself against it, but this seminar is going to be thick with it. It builds character, right? Who knows, maybe I'll find something useful. maybe I'll become a theory hound myself.
  

• On the plus side, I'm not the only one spooked. Some of the other grad folks are planning pre-seminar pow-wows to try to get our minds around the ideas.
  

• Oh yeah, did I mention that 90% of the reading (and there is a lot of it, too) is in a second language to me? And not just any second language, but a frickin' crazy hard second language? No? Well, it is. Theory. In another language. I'm not a bright man.
  

• There is stress (the tension of the title) between some of the TAs and the prof. Oooooo. edgy.
  

• Said prof is holding a meeting for all of us TA folk exactly at the time I should be happily chatting with a blogging buddy over dinner. We are trying to schedule around the meeting. Grrr...
  

• My bike was not ready today, and for that I am sad
  

• I broke down and bought a bed. This is partially in response to Zerodoll's live for today post (which I can't seem to find so I've just linked to her homepage). I've lived far too long without a bed (nearly what, about 5 years now?) and it's hight time I do better for myself.
  

• I broke down and bought a computer desk. This is partially because my office sucks. It's in one of the most beautiful and oldest buildings on campus, but it's also used by about 20 other folks and there's no way to lock anything up, so you can't actually leave anything there. I thought I might be able to get along without a desk, but it looks like I'm going to be doing a lot of work at home :(
  

• Desk and bed will be arriving Saturday (so they say). They ain't DWR or anything, but I'll get some photos for yas - if they look ok. :)
  

Alas, No Diamond

Well, Neil wasn't there, nor was anyone stilt-bound, but there was an open bar, and that's something. The shindig was actually pretty well-stocked with goodies of the drinkable and edible varieties. What it didn't have, alas was space. multiple thousands in one building was frankly a bit too much for me. It didn't make matters much better that I was lugging around my bag o' joy. See, I don't have a lockable office anymore, so I have to drag about everything I own, and that sucks.

Anyway, beer, eggrolls, mini sammiches, roast beast, and other finger foods were enjoyed before I escaped crushment.

Such was yesterday.

Today was the first big day o classes. I got to see the lecturer for whom I TA in action, lecturing. Frankly, it was a pretty bad situation. several hundred students, none of whom seemed to have properly enrolled. Most of the class was eaten up with trying to sort people into categories - those with a faint glimmer of hope of getting in the class over there, those with no hope over there, and the handful of people who actually enrolled properly can sit over there and daydream. uck.

My first TA section is tomorrow, and I'm a bit worried. Not only do I not understand any of the technical and administrative issues, the content is something fundamentally different from anything I've ever taught before. Joy. So, I'd better get plotting.

Oh, yeah. Bonus cool! I got free tickets to a really cool show this weekend. Yea me!

Oriented

I've been so oriented that I could point out north at the north pole. Seriously. Friday was one all day orientation and today was another all day orientation. I think there's one more on Wednesday. It's only a half day though. Then there's a departmental shindig tomorrow, I think. Ye gods.

On the plus side, I had a chance to meet with the prof I'm TAing for and the other TAs, too. I've never TAed a class with so many TAs. We've got a conferance room full of 'em. Also on the plus side, it sounds like the mandatory 'intro to TAing' class shouldn't be too burdensome. One the less than plus side, I realize that the work load for the TA class itself is going to be brutal.

Then there's the grad seminar - I learned that the prof is cruel and inhuman in assigning readings, astronomical in expectations and cosmic in her theortical ruminations.

Then there's the reading group. We're tackling some pieces that aren't well studied yet because none of us have read them yet. So that'll be more work.

In short, I'm in way over my head already. But that makes me happy, and I need that.

Rolloercoaster Me

Whew. The guest lectures went well, and the guest lecturer seemed to be well received by the students - he's one of our more popular folk over here.

It's very interesting to see the different vibe that comes out when someone else takes over in an environment that I've created with the students. I told him that they're usually active and questioning and curious because they are when I'm lecturing, but that's probably just because they're used to me.

That makes me feel really good, because either I'm misreading them completely, or they're actually engaged in my class. Who knew?

I'm sure this will help give away the secret location of my batcaves, but I'm still teaching summer session. I don't even start at the new cave for a few weeks. I'll end up with about a week to get everything moved there, grade all the finals and final papers, figure out how I'm going to live there and attend about 5 different orientations (free food there at least). All this in the week or so before classes start. Oh, yeah, and I'll be TAing, too.

By the way, I'm starting a PhD program. How crazy is that? I just talked to a friend who ran off to DC to get a real job, and she reminded me how absolutely insane this is. I mean, the MA was kind of mildly strange, but within the realm of the comprehensible. I'm going to try to get a PhD. Nobody does that. Nobody sane, at least. Crazy.

So, summing up. I'm happy about the good day, but increasingly panicked about the upcoming weeks (and years). So that's happy plus nervous. I think that calls for gastronomic therapy. Hmmm... maybe tacos? Ice cream? Both?

Hot Topics

This post is for me, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense because I've edited out too many identifiers.

I had a mild epiphany as I was drifting off to sleep last night (actually I fell asleep almost immediately after getting home. Right in the middle of MNF, too. So, what I mean is that when I woke up again and spent a dreary few hours trying to reorient myself through sleep-gucked contact lenses, I eventually took those blasted things out and tried to get some work done. Eventually at about 2 or 3 in the morning I gave up and went back to sleep - heap o' healthy, I'm sure, but I digress).

I specifically chose my field to a a bit vague. I straddle two field that generally don't play well with each other, but they're intimately connected. I like dealing with both and think that they are mutually supporting. The classes I'm teaching now are supposed to be Introduction to Gruub Studies (Topic A), which is, incidentally, the name of the department to which I belong, both here and at the soon-to-be-named School Of The Fall.

The trick is, that in teaching this class I've come to the conclusion that I can't teach Topic A, without going deep into Topic B. Topic B is very poorly supported right now at this university, so the vast majority of students have no background whatsoever in it - we couldn't even have it as a prereq (which it should be). I've had a great deal of fun introducing Topic B, but it has taken time away from Topic A.

I've TAed for professors teaching this class a few times, and they've always glossed over Topic B, and the students hurt for it. As a TA, I was always having to shore up the shaky Topic B information before the students could get a grasp of Topic A, and frankly, I'm not sure they were able to really get the Topic A information because they didn't understand Topic B.

The reason this is all so important to me is that this really helps me define myself. I've always thought that Topics A and B were of absolute equal value. I understand now that, to me at least, B must come before A, even if they are both equally important. Maybe this seems obvious to the students, but it's a bit of a flashing lightbulb over my head that clears some things up for me, even if this post is completely unintelligible to anyone else.