What a Cruel Cruel World!

Ok, seriously. I'm melting. I haven't put on the pointy hat yet though. There's also a sad lack of flying monkeys here, but that's probably much further than that poor joke was ever meant to be ridden.

So. It's well over 90 degrees at 5pm. That's just wrong. It got into the upper 90s today. I don't know how in the world I survived growing up where it was often over 100 during the summer. Well, I do remember hating life a lot. I also remember lying in a pool of my own sweat on the floor (floor's cooler, still way too hot, but cooler) at 3 in the morning trying to sleep. I do remember that.

It is really embarrassing in a way. I'm sure it sounds awfully pathetic and all, but I'm ok with that. I'm a wuss when it comes to heat.

On the plus side, I went to a festival ("the kings festival?" err... no) today, and I'll probably go back. It's pretty place-specific, so no real details, but it's very very cool (and by that I mean freakin' hot). I also ran into an old professor that I had no idea would be there. Chatted for a bit and even got his new book, signed and everythin' Hooray!

Oh, also, I'm back in my dungeon office. It has AC, but only in the way that Fox News has credibility - that is, there are people who claim it to be true, but I'm dubious.

Good thing I'm underground.

Proof That I Must Be A Lesbian

So, Maxim put out their Top 100 Hot Women of 2007. Hot, sure. Pretty, but pretty shallow. I much prefer the Top 100 Hot Women list provided by AfterEllen.com voted on by their much more lesbian-friendly audience. Well, I guess I should say that the readership of Maxim is also probably pro-lesbian, but not in the same way.

Proof here: Maxim's #1? Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, there's nothing hotter than a coke addict.

Also in objectification news, China, ever the bastion of equality and haven for the oppressed, has decided that hostesses for the Olympics are not allowed to have big bottoms. Or tattoos.

"Bone structure and height should be uniform," she said. "For example, we don't want any wide bottoms."

Good lord, the US will never be allowed to host again.

Cafe Snippit Coda

Is it simply impossible for a cafe to be run at a comfortable temperature? Are there laws that require either icicles or heatstroke?

For the record, I am a very un-skinny man with a deep and abiding love of wintry climes and a rich shiny coat of fur (raw eggs in the kibble, doncha know?), and I am shivering like Rush Limbaugh when his maid is on vacation.

On the plus side, grading is nearly done and as soon as I email these back I'm getting out of here. Either I'm going soft (probable) or the papers are getting better. It's probably the exhaustion. These student's don't know how good they've got it.

[edited to change Bill O'Reilly to Rush Limbaugh. I can't keep my wackos straight]