Cafe Snippit Coda

Is it simply impossible for a cafe to be run at a comfortable temperature? Are there laws that require either icicles or heatstroke?

For the record, I am a very un-skinny man with a deep and abiding love of wintry climes and a rich shiny coat of fur (raw eggs in the kibble, doncha know?), and I am shivering like Rush Limbaugh when his maid is on vacation.

On the plus side, grading is nearly done and as soon as I email these back I'm getting out of here. Either I'm going soft (probable) or the papers are getting better. It's probably the exhaustion. These student's don't know how good they've got it.

[edited to change Bill O'Reilly to Rush Limbaugh. I can't keep my wackos straight]

Cafe Snippit Redux

Ma'am (a different ma'am, this time),

I realize that we may not be in the swankiest of cafes, but exactingly laying down 40 or so napkins so as to completely cover your table before delicately placing your coffee in the middle doesn't actually make the place any more... posh.

I have to admit though, I had to stifle a laugh when you kicked the table, sloshing coffee all over your carefully-laid napkin table cloth. Then I sighed when you picked them all up, threw them away and started all over again.

The two women huddled over their two Mactops were also suitably amused. But it's best not to dig too deeply into their lives. All I've overheard over the cafe music and my own earphones was the line, 'My friends all do a lot of, seriously, like, hard core drugs, and people look at me, and they just think that I do too!'

Cafe Snippit

Ma'am:
I think after the third time you told the gentleman with you that he had to put some half and half in his coffee, and for the fourth time he refused, it's probably time to drop it. The fourth time, waving the thermos in his face, was probably not going to change his mind.

Sir:
Run. Run quickly and far.

Grrr... ading

So, grades are due today, and yes, yes, I have been procrastinating more than a little bit.

So, I decided to grab the remaining papers and head out to the cafe near my apartment to finish up

All good, right?

What are the odds that I would have forgotten a crucial list of grades that need to be averaged in? Pretty good.

How excited am I about the prospect of a ride all the way back to campus to pick them up? Not so much.

How much do I want to pick numbers out of the all-embracing ether to plug into those hungry little spreadsheet cells? A heap.

Sigh... At least it's a nice night. It will be a pretty ride.

Bonus tips for café-guy trying to hit on café-chick: These two lines may not have been your best efforts:

“Yeah, its illegal, but I’ll never get caught”
“I don’t think you like men.”