Yeesh

Bibleman is now oogling the coeds.

Hep Cats in Faith

Yelling out that you found verses in Duteronomy that prove there is no such thing as gluttony, and that you'll be happy to prove that skinny chick wrong isn't a great way to impress the Starbuck's crowd. One of the hep cats does have a really cool bible though.

NO!

STOP.

I'm not going running tonight.
I'm not going to even check my school email.
I'm not going to revise or reedit.
The last panicked 'I tanked the last paper and I have to get an A in this class or else I'll never get into med school and I'll end up eating cat food in a garbage can in New Jersey so tell me how to write a paper' student has left.
I held extra office hours.
I will read their emails tomorrow, but today I'm closing up shop.
I'm locking the door.
I'm getting on my bike.
I'm going by a restaurant to get 'not allowed on my diet' food and I'm going home.

I will sleep eight hours tonight, come hell or high water.

The really pathetic thing is that I can't even hold a funk well. I was just thinking about how to blog the most excellent information that almost everyone in the department is going to the massive conference and it looks like it's going to be heaps of fun. I'm really excited! But for the sake of the topic of this blog entry I'll try to look stern and much-put-upon.

Another Fine Mess I've Gotten Me Into

What am I doing at the office at 8:20pm on a Thursday? Blogging! Err... Well, I'm also putting together a response paper that I kinda forgot about. Yeah, it's due tomorrow. Yeah, I suck.

I also have two sections to run tomorrow. Have I planned them yet? Why, no! Thank you for asking!

Luckily the papers that were due today were all postponed to next Tuesday, so I won't be in grading hell this weekend, but it's all coming to a head in a perfect storm of crapitude. Blech.

Oh, and Nutrax - that cool calorie counting website I've been using seems to have gone kaput. I'm not surprised really. I couldn't see how they could make money, but still, it's sad-inducing.

When is spring break again?

Cable What Network?

I'm here to help.

I don't watch nearly as much TV as I used to, but seeing CNN for the past couple of days, I realize that they need my help. It seems that they're forgotten about the whole 'news' part of their name, so I figured that they may be unclear about what is 'news' and what isn't. The biggest problem I realize is to fill all 24 of those hours every day, but the answer is not to batter a non-news (but cheap) story for hours or days beyond it's expiration date.

• First off, the easiest way to find out if something is or isn't news is to watch Larry King Live (I don't actually recommend that anyone actually watch Larry King Live, it's just as good to check his guest list). The key is that if something or someone is a topic on Larry King Live, then it is not news. This would clean up a huge swath of CNN programming.
  
• CNN is not a local newscast and should not try to be one. So this means that a car chase in LA is not news. On the other hand, an Amber Alert in Virginia is news, because it could impact many people, and broad dissemination is helpful in finding the people. See how that works, CNN?
  
• On a related note, Nancy Grace needs to be shuttled off to Court TV. CNN does not need to deal with every salacious court case in the US. If the case has national implications, sure, cover it briefly and give updates, but for crying out loud can we ditch the angry adversarial lawyers yelling at each other about whether or not the public defender should have worn the red tie instead of the blue?
  
• Celebrity news: Axe it. We do not need to know if Jennifer is all broken up about her ex's new love. That's the job of E! television. Oscars, or other more meaningful entertainment news - sure cover it briefly and move on.
• McDonald's new coffee? c'mon now.

They just announced a special investigative report on bedbugs. I kid you not.

8.27km - 39'19"

Batting .500

The letters come rolling in. One small envelope and one large. So that's 6 responses and three acceptances, but really only two good options - you'll see why in a paragraph or two.

The small envelope was from NotAChanceInHell University, which didn't really surprise me. I mean with a name like that, would you even want to get in?

The large envelope is a little more vexing. It was from MonsterTheoretical University, which I honestly didn't think I could get in, but they did admit me. Here's the kicker - no funding. Nada. Zilch. They helpfully advised that I could get a part time job on campus. Now this is a huge, extraordinarily strong and important university, and while I realize that things are very difficult in the funding department, to not offer any aid at all seems a bit sad. There is very little chance that I could find a situation in which fronting ~$40k/year would work out. What do newly minted profs earn again?

To be completely honest, I am very flattered that they would consider me (if I were independently wealthy), and I'm very happy that they put the funding decision in the acceptance letter. Otherwise I would have put it high on my 'seriously consider' list. Now I can put it very low on the 'if all else fails' list.

I wonder, though... The two other acceptances I got only mentioned that they were still organizing the funding distribution. Is this just another way of getting students to commit and then tell them later that they don't have funding for them?

On a side note, one of my profs said, "Can they do that? I thought they had to fund everyone!" Hehe... He's one of those god-like creatures who universities fought over as a student and as a prof, so I doubt he had to worry about this particular trouble.

Another prof said, "Don't go anywhere that doesn't fund you fully." I hope that option is available to me.

Sweaty!

9.14km - 40'

treadmill - ugh

did the army situp and pushup thing again. I think I'm going to regret it though. Ouch ouch ouch

On that note - check out the Army APFT standards chart for pushups, situps (measured by how many you can do in 2 minutes) and the two mile run. When I was in, I maxed the pushups once and almost maxed the run once. I never came that close on the situps.

I'm very far from those scores now except maybe the run. I haven't run two miles in a long time. I might be able to get close...

Overread's Rules For Using the Self-Checkout At The Supermarket

1. You must be literate. The computer will ask you questions and you will need to respond. You should not just stand there yelling at the computer until the employee comes and does everything for you.
   
2. Don't bring scads of fruits and veggies unless you know the codes, or at least the name of the item. No one will be pleased if you stop halfway through the checkout several times to run back to find out what kind of kumquat you picked up
   
1. addendum: People will be even more unhappy if you argue with the employee that no, these are not hurricane peaches, because these peaches were on sale for about 3 cents per pound less than the hurricane peaches
3. You must not be dumber than a box of rocks
4. You must understand the concept behind scanning UPC codes
5. Seriously. Just go through the regular lines if you have an entire cart full of crap. Where do you think you're going to put it all? Are you going to scan it and then put it back in your cart? On top of the other stuff you haven't scanned? And then dig through all that stuff to get to the stuff to get to the stuff you still need to scan? Oh crap. Yes, that's exactly what you are going to do...

Note: Girl Scout cookies are today being sold be very surly-looking middle-aged women. No Sale.

Techie-riffic

I know I'm behind on this one, but hey, I'm just fashionably late. Also, these answers may be eerily similar to two other bloggers out there :)

1. Do you remember when you saw your first computer? When did you actually use one? What about having your own? Do you own a laptop? (PC or Mac?) Have you gone wireless at home yet?

The first one I ever saw was a dumb terminal that a neighbor's dad had. He was a prof at a local college. The neighbor kids got something soon after. I remember watching the older neighbor kid play lunar lander. Very impressive. We got out Vic-20 later, and were changed forever. I remember my brother painstakingly building a picture of an uzi, pixel by pixel with a art pad that we had. It was unreal that a computer could display something that detailed.

Later on, we had a C64 and eventually we got a dedicated phone line and I ran a little BBS called the Sewer System (My moniker - Smelly Rat. Well, I think I actually spelled it -= Rat]} I remember I got very excited to get my first upload. I was sure that it was kool warez, as the kids say now, but in fact, it deleted my BBS software. Oh, I was crushed.

Also memory-worthy on the C64 was when my brother and I downloaded an audio file of the first couple seconds of the song Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting." It was stunningly good. I had never even heard the song before, but we sung that first piece of it forever. The file also took about a day or so to download.

Now I've got a desktop that's packed up because I don't have room to unpack it, and a HP laptop that's serving heavy-duty for me. It's a good 'un, but I always fall to the lure of the upgrade - such a geek.

I have a lot of respect for the Macs, but as far as I'm concerned, they simply don't run all the software I want to run. I wouldn't be able to run all the experimental download stuff that I do on a Mac without an emulator, and on top of that, I do some stuff at school that can't easily be done on a Mac - some of it can't be done at all on a Mac. I would love to have all the buttery-smooth Mac goodness and a little bit of actual design in my computer, but frankly, Macs can't do what I want to do yet. :(

2. When did you first go online and/or use email? Who did you email back then? How did the internet change your life? When did you discover blogging? What about your home internet connection - is it dial-up, DSL, cable?

I honestly don't remember when I first used email, even though I had been using BBS forums forever. I was a huge fan when Prodigy came out, because it was so much more graphical than Compuserve. I discovered blogging early, but didn't really get interested until I saw Profgrrrl's site. I had started a couple dairy-style blogs before then, but after I saw her's, I tried to start one in earnest. Right now the place where I live (I dare not use the word 'home,' that would make it sound like I like it there) is wired for cable. I've never really cared about the cable/DSL wars - either one's fine to me.

3. Do you remember your first VCR? What about a video camera (there were some bulky ones back in the 80s and 90s) and home videos?

VCR - very vaguely. Top loader? Oddly, I love photography, but never been a big fan of video.

4. When did you switch from VCR to DVD? How did it change your video viewing experience? Do you use TiVo or any such "contraption" to tape TV shows? Do you use Netflix or some other internet-based DVD "renting" service?

I'd love to get a TiVo, but I'm not sure I've got the time to watch all the stuff I'd want to watch :( Netflix might be a possibility...

5. What about music? Did you enjoy listening favorite music in Long Plays or did you prefer cassette tapes? When did you buy your fist CD player and switched to CDs? Did you abandon them (and turned to downloaded music) for MP3 players or Ipods or do you still buy CDs? (I'm not going to ask or comment about "illegal" music activities in the internet, even though it was an exciting innovation, lest one of us gets arrested for it :)

Ah, I remember having a very small red white and blue record player. I also had a record... Candy Girl? It was mine all mine, and when my brother wanted to hear it he had to ask me! Bwahahaa.

I'm almost entirely digital now, I've got a box of CDs around here somewhere, but I don't use them anymore. I do kind of miss mix tapes though.

6. Do you own and use a cell phone? Do you think it's useful or just annoying?(Did you always have a telephone in your house growing up? Did you have a phone in your own room?)

I fought the cell phone thing forever, and now I've got one. I think it's a horrible nasty evil, but needed thing.

7. When did you first buy a digital camera? What kind was it (3.2, 4.0, 5.0 mega-pixels or better)? Did you start taking more pictures or were you a photo aficionado before then? What about a digital video camera?

ugh. First digital? Canon D60? I got it so that I could use my SLR lenses. It was wonderful to move off of film. Film was such a hassle. I've got crates of negatives and prints that I still need to digitize. ugh. I usually take many many many pictures - especially on vacation, but lately I haven't been doing my job well.

8. What about televisions? Have you already embraced the new technologies, such as HDTV, plasma, and flat screen? (On the other hand, you wouldn't remember black white TVs, would you?)
TV? I've got one, but it isn't very special. I would love to get a big honkin' monster screen, but alas, not for many years, I'm afraid...


Looking back at that, I think I should have broken this up into many smaller blog posts and given each question more time, but then again, who would read all that?

Best Late Email Ever

Dear Overread,

blah blah blah overslept, blah blah blah, I know you have a very strict attendance policy, blah blah blah, I've done well on the essays and tests, blah blah blah, please don't fail me for blatantly failing to abide by class policy, blah blah blah...

But here's the gold:

Student included a photo of student's alarm clock.

I guess this is to prove that... what? Student did indeed wake up late? Does this help student's case? I'm pretty sure that I was very willing to take the sleeping in as truth without any proof.

Student does have a nice clock though.

Get Behind Me

Point one: There is no way I can possibly get Girl Scout cookies, because I am physically incapable of not eating thin mints in a box-at-a-time fashion.

Point two: I appreciate that parents are important in the Girl Scout organization, but I have yet to actually see any Girl Scouts selling cookies - I've only seen parents. That is, unless it's become Middle Age Man and Woman Scouts.

Unngh?

Holy poop.

Is it the weekend yet? I am completely wiped out. No blogging, no blog reading - nuttin'

I'm finally done with my day (at 6pm on a Friday, mind you), and I'm not going running. I'm going home and I'm going to collapse.

I'm not even going to really enjoy the weekend either because I've got to get ahead on my work because papers to grade are going to start pouring in again next week. Oh, fun thing about loosing weight - I need to buy new pants. It's another weekend task! It's a good thing I get paid the big bucks.

Speaking of big bucks, let's hear it for the department! They've come up with cash to help all of up grad-folk get up to MonsterConference in a few weeks.

Ok. That's about all I've got. I leave you with things that Overread might call someone:

Rockstar (or alternately 'Hero) ex - "He's the rockstar of Gruub Studies - everyone wants to work with him."
Freakshow ex - "Her new boyfriend is a real freakshow. He calls every hour to see where she is."
Timesink ex. - "I can't go into the office, the timesink is in there. If I go in there, I won't get out for hours."

8.36km - 39'49"

The Best Choose Your Own Adventure Ever.

I loved Choose You Own Adventure books - Something Awful has more of these right here - warning that some things there are, um... a bit tasteless.

Dream

drunk guy comes out of bar, gets in fight, gets knocked out. eventually gets up and staggers off to the parking lot. which is suddenly in the countryside somewhere. As he stumbles over a small fence, my friend (who I don't recognize) says to me, "He'll be on the highway in a couple of minutes." We both shake out heads ruefully. Then he's attacked by squirrels. viciously attacked by squirrels. All the folks from the bar are laughing. Then some TV animal show guy comes over with his wife to announce his retirement. He kind of tries to save the guy being attacked by squirrels, but mainly just starts tossing dead (frozen but unplucked?) turkeys over the fence.

Guilt Within Pleasure Volume II

I just got word that a second university - (Gorgeous, Good and Specialty University - GGSU) is offering me admission. I'm really so excited, but. It's a very good school with some great people that I would love to work with, but. It's in a drop-dead gorgeous area, but. It would be slightly closer to some of my family than the other school that has accepted me, but. They even sound a little more apt to fund me, but.

but.

Another grad here also applied to GGSU. I think she applied to the same department as I did. She would fit in very well with the faculty specialty there, and she didn't apply to many schools - GGSU was her best shot. She's said that if she doesn't get in anywhere, she may just going to drop out with her MA and run off and do 'whatever.'

So, if I got in, it would be very very implausible that she got in too.

I'm left with the most fortunate of problems. I've already got two very good options (and four more schools to hear from), but barring very big funding questions, I'm leaning toward not going to GGSU.

She may not get in anywhere. What if she doesn't get in, and I turn down a chance to go to the school where she wanted to go? Guilt. My friend who was in the office when I got the email said I really should be Jewish or Catholic. I can find guilt anywhere. Then again, she thinks I should be gay too, and that ain't happening. Actually I think it's more the whole Puritan 'It's not moral to enjoy good things' idea.

but.

I still squealed like a little girl when I got the email. They like me! They really like me!

After Me, The Deluge

When it rains and I bike, something always gets wet. I could wrap my entire body and everything in my backpack with cling wrap, and I swear something would still get wet. I've learned to deal with acceptable dampness. For example, I long ago gave up trying to keep my pants dry (let's see how many googlers that phrase brings in).

Last night's casualty was part of a book. Note, my backpack is pretty well lined with plastic bags for protection. Nothing else in the backpack was wet - not even the other book that was right next to doomed one.

It's not a total loss, it's just a little wiggly on the edges, but still enough to make me sad.

Oh, and my pants - drenched. Shoes, socks, pants, underwear - drenched. Aren't I glad I just did laundry?

I Love a Rainy Run

8.87km - 39'34"

I haven't been on the treadmill in a while, but the horizontal train that's whirring about suggested that running around in the mud and muck might not be the best idea, so there I went. I know remember the bonus of treadmill running - I can set the pace at 8mph (later 8.5mph) and just zone out and listen to my audiobook while my body just trundles along. Trundle trundle. I don't think I could keep that pace in the wild (treadmills are also nice and flat unless you get them all riled up), but it's nice to get a decently long run in in a decently quick pace. Yea!

I also did one third of the army pushup and situp routine. It's inconceivable that I used to be able to do all that. Inconceivable - and I'm not even Sicilian.

Returned to the Cafe

I'm very jealous. I'm working on real work-stuff and the guy next to me is conquering Europe on his laptop. He was having some trouble in Russia I think. Then again, doesn't everyone?