Banned Book Week

Ok, I lied about getting back to work. I had to check blogs first, and wanted to do this really quickly. I usually don’t do memes, but I really like this pseudo-meme from the Little Professor. Which of the 100 most frequently challenged books have you read? I’m always humiliated in admitting how little I’ve read of any list (hence my oh-so-clever pseudonym), and this one’s no exception. The ones I've read are in bold.

I’m always saddened by how often Judy Blume shows up on these lists. As I recall, she was one of the only fiction authors writing realistically about pre-teen folks. I’m used to seeing Twain on there, and Angelou isn’t surprising either. I also expected all the sex education and homosexual tolerance books to be there, but James and the Giant Peach? C’mon now…

Sigh… I need to read more banned books! Any suggestions on which ones I should start with in my copious free time?

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz

2. Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite

3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling

8. Forever by Judy Blume

9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

14. The Giver by Lois Lowry

15. It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris

16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine

17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck

18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker

19. Sex by Madonna

20. Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel [I read one of them – the first, I think]

21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson

22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous

24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers

25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak

26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard

27. The Witches by Roald Dahl

28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein

29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry

30. The Goats by Brock Cole

31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane

32. Blubber by Judy Blume

33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam

35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier

36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry

37. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George

39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

40. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras

41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

42. Beloved by Toni Morrison

43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton

44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel

45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard

46. Deenie by Judy Blume

47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden

49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar

50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz

51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein

52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)

54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole

55. Cujo by Stephen King

56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell

58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest

60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

61. What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras

62. Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly

64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher

65. Fade by Robert Cormier

66. Guess What? by Mem Fox

67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende

68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney

69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding

71. Native Son by Richard Wright

72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday

73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen

74. Jack by A.M. Homes

75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya

76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

77. Carrie by Stephen King

78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume

79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer

80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge

81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein

82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole

83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King

84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez

87. Private Parts by Howard Stern

88. Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford

89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene

90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman

91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher

93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis

94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene

95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy

96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts

98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney

100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

8.14km – 44’12”

Did a shorter run today, because I’ve been slacking for the past couple of weeks. I didn’t want to push too much, and it’s just as well, because someone over here turned on the heat and humidity today. I don’t live in a furnace of hell like I know some of you do, so, I doubt I’ll get any sympathy, but sheesh – I bet I lost a few pounds of sweat out there.

Also noted: Guy I've seen a couple of times on the treadmill (why people use a treadmill when there are so many wonderful trails around here, I'll never know, but I digress...). The gentleman's workout wardrobe is a bit exentric. He wears corderoy pants, a flannel print shirt and a vest.

Ok, no whining! Back to work! Here’s your lyric o’ the day. It’s either going to be really easy or impossible bwahaha.

I don't see you guys rating the kind of mate I'm contemplating. I'd let you watch. I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you.

No googling! :)

Apropos of Nothing

It'’s already 9. Where in the world did the day go? I haven'’t done much work at all? It seems like all I did was attend classes and meetings. I guess that'’s work of a sort, but I have things that need doing. I didn'’t even run today.

How in the world do you folks get anything done with all this teaching stuff?

Ok, tomorrow'’s another day. I will get up early and I will get silly admin stuff finished so that I can dig a nice little burrow in which I shall hide and do the lovely bookly stuff that loves me back.

Lyric of the evening! Name the song and artist! No Googling allowed.

"“There's no sign of life/It'’s just the power to charm/I'’m lying in the rain/But I never wave bye-bye/But I try, I try"”

On a related note, I only seem to remeber the video for 'Let's Get Physical.' It didn't seem nearly as nasty as the song does now that I'm listening to the lyrics. I thought it was exercising. Let me hear your body talk, indeed...

Shiny Happy Bloggers

How happy are the Livejournalers?

Oh, Dear.

There must be a better four letter abbreviation for 'Comparative Literature.'

Snark On!

Conference weekend here in… ummm… I guess my school needs a pseudonym.  I’ll get to that later.  Conference weekend here.  Random notes:

1. I need more casual dressy stuff.  I get the feeling I shouldn’t do jacket and tie at this one, but most of the rest of my stuff is a bit too ‘Grad Student/TA’-looking.  They say you’ve got to dress at the level you want to be promoted to, right?


2. That guy and that guy need casual dressy stuff much more than I do.  I don’t think a sweatshirt (with hood) quite cuts the image you were wanting.  And you over there… didn’t your mother tell you about black dress shoes and white socks?  I guess not.  I bet you wear white socks with sandals too.  My mom would cut off my feet.


3. Presenter #3:  Breathe.  That is all.


4. Woman with comment:  Trust me – you don’t have a helpful comment.  You don’t have a question.  It seems like you just wanted to talk about your own research.  Bringing up your own research and claiming that it is vital to the presenter’s paper when it’s not only convinces people that you are either so ignorant as to not understand how the two are not related, or so oblivious that you don’t care.  You can pick which for me.  Neither is that good.


5. Folks in the back row:  You are supposed to be professionals.  You are professors from good schools.  I really want to look up to you and your scholarship.  I don’t want to think of you as chattering insensitive twits.  When the room is small enough so that everyone can hear you, it might be best to take the giggling outside.  I had hoped we would get better behavior than we get in the undergrad survey classes.

Bikepath Anthropology

The season has truly begun. I saw my first 'walk of shame'r.

8am Saturday morning. Micro-miniskirt. high-heeled shoes in right hand. slinky something in left hand. Oversized sweatshirt on body. bare feet softly padding their way on the cold, cold path back to the dorms.

My Brother the VJ

Proof that my bro doesn’t hold it against me that I saw Corpse Bride before he did:

Movies:

Alien plant life – very very eerie.

Mischief-maker – watch or fast-forward to the end, the last bit is hilarious

The Corpse Bride

I heard my brother was going to see this tomorrow, so I had to see it first :)

Ok, first off, there really wasn’t any way that I wouldn’t like this movie.  I loved Nightmare Before Christmas, and I really enjoy the aesthetic of Tim Burton’s films anyway.  I like Johnny Depp  and Helena Bonham Carter, and I’ve always loved Tracey Ullman  (even though I’ve never recognized her voice in anything – she’s got way too many voices, don’t you know).

Alright then, that out of the way, I don’t think anyone will be surprised that I really liked the movie.  The story was fresh and the writing good – there were only a couple of things that seemed a little trite.  

The look of the film is wonderfully Burton.  It’s a difficult thing to give characters that the audience will care about when the entire premise of the land of the living is that it’s dreary and dull.  The two living leads must be dull, and they are, but there are touches of ‘life’ that help draw empathy – a blush of color on Victoria’s cheek, Victor’s attachment to a sprig of flowers.

The land of the dead is very ‘day of the dead’ish, and in a good way.  But unfortunately, that’s were some of the slightly clichéd things happen.  I imagine it’s a tip of the hat to Disney when you make a little bug/animal/dragon the inner voice of the lead, but perhaps it’s time to try something new.   Although I do have to admit that making that character a Peter Lorre-esque maggot is unique…

Although I really liked the Corpse Bride herself, I personally was more taken with Emily Watson’s character.  There seemed to be more depth there than in the Corpse Bride, and a little less of the slapstick found in Victor.

I also think that some of the songs were a bit oddly placed and written.  The Corpse Bride has a song in the middle of the film that could have been very nice, but it ended up repetitious and interrupted by clever animal/bug companions.  

I feel that most of my pics are nits and it’s obviously well worth seeing if you are even remotely interested.

9/10

We'll Always Have Paris

I just had a brief talk about this with a good friend, and I think maybe it’s time I try to put it in words up here.

Recently my girlfriend and I decided to make exes out of each other.  This was a pretty long term thing too.  We were very near the five year anniversary of our meeting.  

I don’t have a lot of breaking-up experience, but this seemed to me a pretty civil version.  Very unhappy, but not angry.  We had been doing the long-distance thing for most of the time we were together, and maybe it was just a little too long-distance, too long-term.  

That’s not to say there weren’t concrete issues.  I won’t go into them here, but near the end, when we both were feeling the relationship strain, we brought up some fundamental problems that both of us had set aside for the sake of getting along well.  These problems, when we brought them out, were honestly just too much.

It turns out that it’s easy for two very accommodating people to accommodate themselves into a relationship.  It also turns out that it’s very easy to accept and even embrace what is comfortable despite knowing quite well that it’s not what it’s hoped to be.

We both found a great deal of comfort in each other without having to deal with many of the concessions that having to live within easy distance would bring.

There was a time, not so long ago, when I was pretty sure she was the one.  She’s not – I know that, but wasn’t it nice when I didn’t know it?

There's No Such Thing As A Stupid Question

Ok, Mr. Vocal.  We all understand that you have a knowledge of the material.  We all understand that you speak that language.  We’re all awash in your wisdom of the ages.  Please please please let the lecturer speak.  

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: STOP IT!

Because my TAship deals with another department, I’ve been let into their emailing list.  Good god.  These people are chatty.  I really don’t need 20+ more emails/day to delete.

Smut!

The Bush Agenda – America is under siege. Not by natural disasters, not by terrorism, and certainly not by incompetent leadership at the Federal, State and Local level, but by, you guessed it: Porn.

Now, I can understand. There’s a lot of child porn as well as trafficking in humans for the sex trade and the ‘people’ involved in that area should be met with a harsh crack on the head from the hammer of law.

But that’s not what we’re going after here.

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults. (Emphasis mine)

I think an anonymous FBI agent puts it best:

‘I guess this means we've won the war on terror… We must not need any more resources for espionage.’

The jokes come quickly:

A few of the printable samples:
‘Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four.’
‘I already gave at home.’
‘Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves.’

Funny it is, but for crying out loud, I can’t imagine this is helpful or even feasible.

I should also note, that this seems to come from “Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III,” rather than Bush himself, but I doubt Bush disapproves.


Via Washington Post

Run Me Right Round Baby, Right Round Like a Record Player

11.17km – 1:02’33”

Very weird run today.  

Sometimes a run can make me feel so wonderful when I’m out there.  My legs just feel like they could carry me without my will to swing them forward.  The ground accepts each step softly and with forgiveness.  I truly enjoy those runs.

After some runs, I’m exhausted and my legs wobble unreliably under me.  I feel the muscle burn in my thighs and calves that invariably leads to the slow but sharp walk up stairs to my office.

Today, well, today was different.  The run started out slow, but I felt more tired than I usually do at the beginning of a run.  I just felt like I didn’t have any energy at all.  I had to consciously remember a trick I learned in the army – you can only push your legs so far, but if you imagine it as throwing your legs out in front of you, you’ll pick up your pace without burning those pushing muscles.  I have no idea if that’s good advice.  I made it all up, but it helps me.

Anyway, I pushed.  I threw.  I panted and sweated.  Every time I looked down at my watch, my pace was slower than I thought it should be.  The odd thing was, though, that I didn’t slow down.  Usually I’ll slow down at the end of the second and the third lap, but today I didn’t.  I just ran right through it.

When I got back to the gym, I found out that I ran basically the same run at about the same time, but my heart rate was 3bpm lower than last time.  So that’s a really good thing.  Lower heart rate generally means more healthy heart.  So yea!

Bonus locker room eavesdropping:

A:     Sure, I think I’ll do fine in Paris
B:     (European accent of some kind) Well, they all speak French, you know.
A:     Yeah, but… wait.  They don’t speak any English at all?

Books of a Feather

My friend rocks.  He’s become quite the big man in Far Far Away.  He just published a book over there and even included a story I wrote awhile back.  I just got a copy of it today.  I’ve only had a chance to thumb through it, but it looks great so far.  

It’s funny that I know a lot of people who publish books, but they’re generally for an academic audience.  His book is built to be sold in regular bookstores to regular people.  For some reason, that makes it seem more valuable through the difference.  

Long Haired Freaky People Need Not Apply

Um…  spooky guy lingering in the hallways,  could you please either find what you are looking for or find another place to linger.  You’re kinda wigging me out.  It’s lunchtime.  No one is in the offices except us chickens.  

By The Pricking Of My Thumbs...

Things are starting to roll now.  I’ve met with Youngish Prof, for whom I shall slave as TA this time ‘round.  I’ve seen the syllabus and the texts.  The schedules are set.  Oh, that’s ugly though.  I got three sections in the late-afternoon/early evening.  One.  After. Another. So I’ll get the folks napping after a late lunch or starving before an early dinner.  Joy.  I much prefer the early morning classes because students just sleep in – problem solved.

The especially fun thing is that the other TA is something I haven’t seen here.  She’s a 17-year veteran of the high school wars.  She just this year went back to school to get her PhD.  She said that one of the main reasons she knew she needed to get out of teaching high school was the arrival of legal teaching standards from on high.  Very interesting.

She is wonderfully full of experience and wisdom about teaching, but more interestingly, she’s got a refreshing dose of idealism and awe about getting back into the university world.  I’m afraid Youngish Prof and I kind of surprised her when talking about all of the CYA stuff we have to do – keeping detailed grade lists, attendance, percentages and ‘> x absences = F’ kinda stuff.  It sounded as if she had hoped she had left all that in the high school realm.

Youngish Prof explained that when the students come to argue, we have to be able to defend the grades they received.  She said, “So much for learning for learning’s sake, eh?” and “I thought this would be more like a community of scholars.”  I didn’t really know what to say.  Youngish Prof and I just sat there for a bit and then both tried to tell her how good her seminar classes would be.  I hope she’s not too disappointed.

Another interesting piece of the puzzle – she’s never taught or studied Gruub.  She’s got a background in the broader studies to which Gruub belongs, but she’s never dealt specifically with the topic.  She seems extraordinarily diligent, so I’m sure she’ll do fine, but it’s going to be a whole lot of work to get up to speed.  

The two of us came up with a good deal.  I’m going to rely on her expertise in teaching, and I’ll answer all the questions I can about Gruub.  

Badly written, badly written, but no time to edit, I have to get back to fixing wedding photos!

Another Fine Mess I've Gotten Me Into

Total photos taken by me at the wedding:

881

Now that should be a day or three of editing, right?

Hehe

Value Subtracted

Do I really need the USPS adding an AOL CD in my change of address packet?

No.  The answer is no.  

Does anyone use AOL anymore?

Practice Makes Perfect

The rehearsal for the wedding I’m shooting was today.  The ceremony is tomorrow.  I’m actually not sure what we can legally call it, since it’s two women getting married, and that’s still not legal here.  Unfortunately, one family isn’t coming to the ceremony because they don’t approve.  I just can’t fathom that.  

It’s fun to see people that I deal with at the university reduced to quivering masses of love and nerves in public.  They wrote their own vows, and from the way they reacted while reading them today, it may be the first time that they’ve really publicly talked about how they feel.  Very sweet.

The ceremony is in a gorgeous park with views of everything beautiful in our neighborhood.  There’s a little earthen stage with a tree growing from it.  There are flowers and butterflies and birds everywhere.  

They’re two wonderful people who really love each other.  I hope that I can do justice to the ceremony with my photographs.

I Heard It Through The Grapevine

Oh, yes.

There is good news.  Maybe.

There are good rumors. Definitely.

Rumors of employment.

There is a very sneaky little birdie who told me that another graddie and I may each get our very own class next summer after we get my MAs.  

Would I be interested in staying here in the summer to teach my own class at this world-class university?

Um.

Yes, please.

Run Singular Sensation

11.24km – 1:02’44”

Yeah!  Felt pretty good too, except for the sand (?) that got into my sock.  Grrr…

More Rambling on Application Joy

I can’t imagine the thrill that the admissions committees will feel at combing my transcript from a university I attended in 1991 for relevance.  Because let me tell you, it’s a great joy to go back and try to figure my GPA in my major from back then too…

“Hmm…  He got a less than spectacular grade in freshman Geology in ’91… perhaps let’s not admit him…”

Being on an admissions committee has got to suck the brain out of a skull, right?  Statements of Purpose are all well and good, but how can you really know what you’re dealing with?  I guess the main weight has to go with recommendations from academics you know and trust…

Remind me to butter up my recommenders…  Hmm… cookies?  Flattery?  Actually doing good work and research? Nah – that can’t be it…

Junior and Senior

Again, my brother comes through with the linkage...

(music and video)
http://www.veer.com/ideas/move/

The Walls Are Closing In

Ok – this needs its own post because, well… because.

1 – They changed from a brown trash can liner to a grey one.  Is there some deeper meaning in this?
2 – Why are have there been a circle of women chanting outside my window the past couple of days?  I mean, seriously, school hasn’t even started yet.  The last chant I watched had forty or so women playing something akin to Duck Duck Goose, but it involved dancing around in a circle when the er.. Goose goosed you.  Odd…  Ah, I just now finally understood some of the chant – “Alpha Chi Omega, we’ll always be true.”  I guess that clears that up. Although, if they're always true, that might be rough on the true/false exams.  Wikipedia tells me, “Some famous alumni include Condoleeza Rice, Dawn Wells, Agnes Nixon, and Trista Rehn Sutter.”  It’s heartening is a scary way that I could have a future Condi Rice outside my window.

I definitely need to go home.

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

Something unexpectedly cool happened today.  I got to sit down and chat with a prof that I don’t get to see much of.  He’s a fairly big wig in a field related to what I do and a mover and shaker in the department.  I’ve taken a class or three from him, but I’ve never worked with him that closely.  Anyway, he wanted to know about my summer and what I was up to generally, and we talked about all the joy of my thesis, but then the conversation changed.  
We began to talk about the department and the people that are coming and going and such.  Our department is fairly small but very much on the up (I’m biased, obviously, so cope).  We are in the process of building a PhD program and a couple other specialty fields that would make us quite literally unique in the US.  So, without me even mentioning my PhD hunt, he said that when we get the PhD program up and running (probably a year after I should get my MA), that I should definitely apply.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this.  I’ve gotten it from another ex-chair last spring.  The current chair also just happened by my office yesterday and chatted for half an hour or so too.
I don’t think that I’ll be here for my PhD, partially because I want to get into it as soon as I get my MA, but also because I’m not sure I want to spend another big chunk of my life in this area, but it’s nice to feel wanted!  

Of course, I could take a year abroad after the MA and do research and then apply… If only I could get funding…

A-Run, A-Two, A-Run Two Three Four

11.22km – 1:03’11”

Woohoo!!  Campus run rocks!  I was able to keep the pace under 6 min per lap and ended up averaging 5’37/km.  I didn’t think I’d be able to keep a good pace, but I did!  And I’ve only got a couple of places threatening to blister (newish shoes still) – no joint creaking or other frightening pains.

Yea me!

Bonjour!

Got a call at 6:30 this morning from a friend in Paris.  She just wanted to let me know that she was having a great time and remind me that I wasn’t there.  I was fourth on her list of people to call and taunt.

Cruel, I tell you, just cruel.

That Boy Ain't Right.

Yesterday was spent almost entirely in wallowing in tv.  Between football (did anyone see the Texas Ohio game?  I don’t have any allegiance to either team, I was just so happy to see a good close game.  You don’t see that in college football much anymore.) and tennis (Woohoo Go Agassi!  Very nice to see Cljsters win too.  I like Pierce too, but the injury time outs she took against Dementieva kinda bothered me a little bit), I didn’t get much else done.  It’s funny too, because I haven’t spent an entire day watching sports since… maybe since I was in the army?

What did I do between games and during commercials?  I read Pride and Prejudice.  Then after the games were over, I watched the movie Holes on the Disney Channel.  By the way – that was a really good movie.  I remember thinking that I should see it when it came out, but I never did.  Highly recommended.

Today, I’m going to a bridal shower.

Let’s see – I think I’ve become all the marketing target audiences, right? Males, females, kids… yeah – I think I’m doing good here.

Following the Rabbit

There was a very nervous looking very young woman wearing all the university-student regalia buying a pregnancy test in front of me in line at the store today.  It’s amazing how alone and skittish she looked.  The cashier, perhaps from experience, seemed to know better than to give the customary, “Hi there, did you find everything alright?”  Not that I blame her really.  I’m not sure there’s a Miss Manners approved set of talking points for either side of that conversation.  
I tried to spin it upbeat.   Maybe she’s nervous because she’s happy.  Maybe she is ready psychologically and financially for a child.  Maybe there’s a loving, caring and thoughtful partner at home anxiously awaiting the results, or unknowing and apt to be happily surprised.
The thing is though, I’m a cynical twit.  I don’t believe any of that is the case.  I wouldn’t be surprised to find that there is a much sadder story behind that purchase.  I do hope it turns out ok.

The Chosen Run

5.99 km – 31’57”

Woohoo! 5’20”/km pace!  It’s always nice to look down at your watch and see that you’re running at a faster pace than you feel you should be.  There were even a couple of times at the start when I had to pull back a little bit, ‘cause I knew I was running too fast.

Yea!

Now lets see if I can pull myself away from the Pierce – Dementieva match and go to the café to get some more work done.  

Pierce just took the second set though…

A Class Divided

Maybe some of you folks have seen this before, or even seen it when it was on TV, but it was new to me. This is a video of an experiment that was started in ’68 by a third grade teacher.

What she did was build an experiment in racism based on eye color. She divided her class into the blue-eyes and the brown-eyes, and alternately gave and revoked privileges based on eye color. It’s a bit like the Stanford Prison Experiment in that you think you understand where things will lead, but to actually see the people reacting is very moving.

There’s a second section that is even more revealing – she does a similar exercise with a group of corrections officers.

Very interesting stuff.

Well, that's nice to know.

Your past life diagnosis: I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern North New Zealand around the year 1350.
Your profession was that of a banker, usurer, moneylender or judge. Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation. The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom. Do you remember now?

---

I wonder how many Northern New Zealander bankers there were in 1350. I must have been a real trailblazer.
found here.

Hey Jack Kerouac

The Smoking Gun is a great repository of strange (usually government) records. Usually they just have mug shots of famous folks or funny mug shots of regular folks (Best in Show goes to this paint-sniffer), but they just got ahold of the military records of Jack Kerouac. He was kicked out of the navy after 10 days for mental issues. In the conclusion, they note that, equally damning, Mr. Kerouac also had a, "rambling, grandiose philosophical manner." I can see how we wouldn't want that in our navy.

So when the draft comes, ladies and gentlemen, after you listen to Alice's Restaurant again, take a look at the tale of Jack Kerouac.

US Open

Did I mention, perhaps, that Martina Navratilova is 48 years old?

She's out of the mixed doubles, but she just won a doubles match, knocking off the #2 seeds. She and her partner are into the semifinals.

She's good.

Agassi's 35 and still in the singles run, too. And his middle name is apparently 'Kirk.'

Also, I may have mentioned this before, but healthy athletic tennis women are gorgeous.

Runagain!

5.91km – 32’45”

Well, I did my first post-trip run and my first run from my new duplex-thingie.  I am really happy about the run.  I was a bit dehydrated and my breath wasn’t completely back, but my legs seemed happy enough.  I held a 5 min 33 sec /km pace, which isn’t too bad, and more importantly, my heart rate didn’t get too crazy.  

It was nice to get back out there though.  My new place is just a little further from the trail than my last place, so I’m just adding a bit onto my old run.  Now I just need to try the campus run and see if I can hold up.  

It was hot and dry and the cracked ground gave out puffs of dust with each stride.

There is some kind of hawk or other bird of prey that flies out there and they will fly really low.  You can see their shadows follow you run along, and then look up and see them above you.  

The squirrelly squirrels were out and standing dumbly in the path until you’re almost right on top of them.  Suddenly they perk up and scamper off into their little holes.  

I even found a few humans out there.  One was flying a remote controlled airplane in the open field area.  Another one was an elderly gentleman with a big floppy hat who responded with a startled ‘Yes!’ when I bade him a good afternoon.  And then there were the other runners.  Two of them.  I shouldn’t feel as good as I do about passing them, but I did.  And I was taking the long way.  They were taking the shortcuts.

It’s good to be back.

It Sure Looks Nice Outside, But...

I am sloth incarnate.

There’s football and tennis on TV and a very readable book right here next to me.  There is also a very readable journal over a little further away, but oddly, it hasn’t been opened yet…

The true test is whether or not I order out for pizza.  If that happens, I might as well give up.

By the way, Navratilova is playing mixed doubles.  How can you not love that woman?

Here Comes the Photographer

I’m shooting a wedding for a friend that’s coming up pretty soon – like a couple of weeks from now.  Every photographer I’ve talked to has said basically, “Don’t do it.  For the love of god, if you want to keep your friends and sanity, back out now!  Claim that you’ve got SIDS or SARS, or some other acronym, but just get out!”

The thing is, as a photographer, there are a billion ways to screw up someone’s wedding, and of course, this is the most important day in their lives.  These will be the pictures that they show everyone ‘til their dying day.

So, I’m a mite bit nervous, but I think it’ll go ok.  I’ve talked to both brides, and they both like my journalistic-style photos, and they both abhor the ‘produced’ feel that the pro photographers were offering.  They also have told me several times that they want the posed shots at a minimum.  They want candid shots and crowd shots and some other basics.  I think I can do that.

Frankly, I’ve worked with a lot of photographers who have done wedding jobs for strangers for pay, but I’ve only known one guy personally who is trying to do weddings full time.  He was/is not a sane man.

It seems like a particularly masochistic thing to do.  You insert yourself into some of the most intimate times of a couple’s lives and have to have the class and artistry to turn it all into ‘the’ history of the day.  And heaven help you if the only clean shot you got of the favorite uncle is when his zipper was down, or if your shot of the garter throwing shows the tattoo that the bride had been trying to hide all day.

I’ve got another photo job today, too.  I’m hoping there wont be any brides, grooms or uncles…

Drain Bed

'kay, no thoughtful post today. Just a couple of pictures.

Miniland has a waterfall:


and a bird:

Finnegan Begin Again

I’m a masochist in a lot of ways really. My school year starts a bit later than everyone else’s, and I’m very jealous.

I’m reading blogs about the first day of school and the bipolar sections. I’m reading about missing students and too many students and the ever-present students who are shocked - shocked! that work will be required in class. I’m reading about inventive ways of getting students involved from day one. I’m reading about the heads of fierce beasts that are not conducive to sign language. I’m reading about the flush of victory that you feel when the students get it.

Did I mention I’m jealous? Jealousy is a big part of it, but it's nervousness and excitement too.

I should be building PhD applications and knee deep in materials for my thesis. I should be cleaning and rearranging my tiny little room so I can move the rest of the boxes in. I should be back on my running schedule, but instead I sit here in my chair in my office living vicariously through those of you who have already begun again.

If I had a bit, I’d chomp it.

E Pluribus Sue-'em

The plot has stopped thickening.  After telling me he had no intention of calling her, the collections agency guy called my friend’s mom immediately after speaking to me.  I can only assume it didn’t matter to him if we all believe him to be a liar and in general a slimy human being.  I guess that’s just part of the job.  
In any case, the case is closing.  The agency will get a little bit of money from both my friend’s mom and myself (in small doses over time).  The slimy man will get his cut, and everyone will go home without resorting to legal joy.  
This is the best solution, I guess.  I’ll be able to unsuspend my license in a few weeks, although it just happened to expire while suspended, so I get to take the test again.  I’m sure that will be a barrel of laughs.  
Stewgad mentioned in comments that my friend’s not having insurance was the big problem in all this.  I do agree to a point.  If only she hadn’t let her coverage lapse, so many things would have gone more smoothly, and certainly never would have gotten to this extreme.  However, I have a hard time blaming others when I can legitimately blame myself.  I was the guy who was driving when I hit the other car.  That’s the fundamental start of all of this.  
The great thing is that all this trouble hasn’t soured our friendship.  Maybe someday much later we’ll have it out and accusations will fly, but for now we’re still friends and I’m lucky to have a friend like her.

An Archeological Discovery

The person who had this room before me was certainly a classy gentleman. Although I did take down from the wall the magazine pages hung in homage to Sapphic lust, the scotch tape he used to secure them that alternately ripped paint from the wall and refused to come down at all will provide forever a way of remembering him and his decorating wisdom.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Oh, fun. The ringer is dead on my cell phone. Is this just an excuse to get a new phone? If I hold on for another few months I get a new one with the contract extention, but if I buy one now I could still trade in my old one to get the new one and then ebay the extra one... hmm... options options... and they all involve money...

poop.

Trouble with A Capital T, That Rhymes with P and That Stands for Pool!

When I got home from the trip there was a letter waiting for me that must have arrived a day or two after I left.  There’s a story here.

Back in October, I was driving a friend’s car and got into a fender-bender.  No one was hurt.  There was a little damage to my friend’s car, and the other car’s bumper got banged up, but it didn’t look like there was any damage aside from that.  Anyway, it turns out that my friend had let her insurance lapse, and I don’t have insurance because I don’t have a car.  Not good.  I got a ticket for driving without insurance and paid a fine and had my license suspended for a year.  

The accident report had me at fault, which I expected, and soon after my, friend’s mom (the owner of the car) and I were contacted by the other driver’s insurance company to confirm there was no insurance coverage.  They said they were going to wait until all the estimates were in before taking any action.  I went to the legal clinic on campus and was given the sage advice, “Don’t buy anything big like a house or anything in the next several years, ‘cause they can take it from you.”  Pity, too, because I had great plans of real estate expansion during my grad career.

It seems that the estimates have become real life bills, because the letter that came for me was from a collection agency asking for a quite large sum that I obviously have no way to pay.  I got in contact with my friend and she told me that her mom was looking into options.  

All this seems to me the way that these things usually go, and I wasn’t surprised by any of it.

But tonight…

Tonight I got the phone call.

Wow.  I had never been on the other side of one of these guys.  He was good, but in a kind of immature way.  First, he left a message on my voice mail that said something to the effect of:

This is very important and this may be the only phone call you ever get about this.  I will explain this matter when you call me back.  This is very important.  

Is it me, or does that sound suspiciously like the wording on those sweepstakes mailings or spam email?  

In any case, I was on the phone at the time and the call came up ‘private’ on the ID, so I didn’t answer it.  I forgot that I had gotten a call, so I didn’t check my voice mail after I hung up.  About thirty minutes later (mind you this is in the evening, not business hours) I get a call from him.  

He told me that I had to commit to paying the money within one hour, or the company would sue me and the owner of the car, and have my license revoked for ten years.  I began to explain my financial situation to him, but he didn’t seem to listen (frankly, not that I blame him for that.  I have no doubt he gets all kinds of sob stories).  He then said basically that I should ask my parents, family, and friends for the money (I’m not.  Those who know me please don’t offer.) saying that if his license were on the line that he would gladly pay [insert obscenely large amount much larger than what they claim is due here] to get it back.  Then he went on a minor spiel about how important driver’s licenses are.  

Then I asked him if he had spoken to the owner of the car, seeing as how, as I understand things, we are both liable.  He said that he hadn’t talked with her and had no plans to.  Then he said he could get her on a three-way line and talk to us both, which I thought was just silly.  Then he did ask me if I thought she was trying to dump all this trouble on me by not taking care of all this.  I guess he was trying to see if he could make me suspicious or angry toward her.  Very interesting…  

I will say that he seemed to be very good at the whole thing.  He spoke with a great deal of intensity and confidence.  When I said that I couldn’t and wouldn’t commit to anything within one hour and that I had no property or saleable assets, he turned that into an ‘outright refusal’ to pay.  I thought with all the legal possibilities, that that was a particularly nice twist.

Really, his main problem, aside from the pushy absolutist manner (You could get served in seven days!  You may have already won!) , was the one hour deadline.  Obviously, I know next to nothing about this legally, and I’m sure he counts on that when he calls people, but a one hour deadline seems more than a little bit ridiculous.  Also, telling me that he had no intention of calling and trying to talk to a person that they planned to sue seemed even more silly.  Wouldn’t they want to see if they could recover the money before they started legal action?  I can’t speak for her.  Why not talk to her yourself?

I realize that I’m making light of a very serious situation, and that may not be the healthiest way to approach this, but it’s what I do.  I get through stress by overanalyzing and making jokes.  And running.  And eating.

I am trying to see if there are any ways out of this mess.  It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I lost my license, but it would be very awful.  I certainly don’t want anything to happen to my friend or her mother, but I’m not sure what my options are.  I guess I’ll be heading to the legal clinic again tomorrow.  The snake-oil salesman did mention that he would be willing to drop the amount ‘significantly’ if I were willing to deal, so there might be something there.  Frankly, I would want to ask to talk with someone else from their company, but that would probably tick them all off and not necessarily get me anyone better.

Ugh.

Sister Sylvia Stout

Ugh.  Where did I get all of this junk?  I cleaned out my room and I thought it was mostly done.  Silly me.  I knew I had a desk in the garage (I moved it down there for the re-carpeting).  I had forgotten the boxes.  Oh sweet lord, the boxes.  What’s in all of them?  How can I accumulate all of this junk?  I can see the promise in a Buddhist renunciation of material things.  Except I can’t give up my computer.  I would be a bad Buddhist, but I must strive to be a lighter being.  I’m going to tackle the mess in the garage.  I’m going to tackle the mess in my new room (isn’t it funny how you never realize how much smaller a new area is until you try to cram all of the stuff you had in the old area into it?).

I must clarify my life.

Anyone want to buy a desk?

More Moving Less Thinking

Oh, it’s good to be home.  

I had a big Italian dinner last night.  Cheeeezey bread and a little apple crisp thingie for dessert.  My landlords helped me move a little bit so I took them out to dinner.  I’ve still got a couple more car-loads worth of junk, but a friend said she’d help me out tomorrow, so I should be able to be out on time.  

Moving is emotionally draining.  I’m becoming a child again (or moreso than usual) I don’t want to leave.  I don’t want to go to the new place.  I don’t want to leave my friends (well, ok, the cat).  The kids (dog) at the new place won’t like me.  

Ugh.  At least classes don’t start for a little bit.

Harumph

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Actually I kind of like that, but I usually get different answers on those INJF personality quizes.

Other news:
Tonight's photo gig went very well, and there are many many many more to do. I've got another one tomorrow!

I was supposed to start moving today. It didn't happen at all. I need to be out by the end of the month. Sometimes not having a car is a really bad thing. :(

Rogue's Gallery

Another note from the trip:  If you put 60 people under the age of 35 on a two week trip, you will get a soap opera.  

Evidence:

The first people who become noticeable are the people everyone hates.  

Enter the Ugly Americans.  Number one is an insecure 19 year old who thinks that proving every stereotype heaped on Americas will make people like him.  It doesn’t.  His most shining moment otherwise was acting as a translator between the Spanish folks and some English speakers.  He translated everything they said as either an insult or a sexual proposition.  Unfortunately, there weren’t any other Spanish speakers around at the time.

Number two is a missionary who has a nasty habit of getting drunk and attempting to sexually assault anything with breasts.  He also, unfortunately had been to Miniland before and regaled anyone within earshot, including locals, about how he knew better places that we should be going, and if we would only follow him instead of the tour guides, how much better life would be.  He also spoke a bit of the local lingo, but the less said about that, the better.

Next to become vivid are the first batch of lovers.  Boom.  Out of nowhere they’re crawling all over each other.  In the hotel, in the bus, in the restaurant, in the street.  Hey, listen, we’re happy that you’ve found each other, but come on now…

Then there’s the French guy I mentioned before.  There were several people from France, but only one French Guy.  Imagine Pepe LePew, Marky Mark and maybe a dash of Je ne sais quois, and you’ve got him.  He’s a good guy but sexual to the point of startling people.  He’s not picky – man, woman, good-looking, ugly, married, single, anyone is beautiful and available to him.  

Slowly the less extravagant people become visible.  Camera folks for me to chat with.  The running group and the vegetarian group, both of which I enjoy spending time with.  The guides themselves were wonderful people by and large, and were happy to talk about anything and everything.  Their leader was a fiercely nationalistic fireplug.  She came up to my chin (and I’m not tall by any stretch of the imagination), and she couldn’t stop talking or moving the entire trip.  At one point, when I was sure that no one had gotten a full night’s sleep, she was so hopped up that I figured she must have been on something.

As the trip moved on, the more subtle pairings began.  That girl is madly in lust with that guy.  All the girls love him, but he’s not paying them any attention.  He’s hanging around those two quite a bit more than is seemly, but who knows?  Then it becomes a bit more obvious.  He isn’t interested in her, but once his other options dry up, he’s happy to be with her.  The other he disappeared with one of the guides. Etc…  I really wish I had the anthropological training to see what was really going on.  

I did get one disturbing gossip update, but there’s no telling if it’s true.  Heck, maybe it’s all in my imagination.  Well, I know that that wasn’t in my imagination…

Trip Pictures

I haven't gone through all the pictures yet, so I'm just putting up a few. I'll get you some more later. These are all from the first day. It was so windy I thought I would be blown into the water a few times. Fun fun!

More later - enjoy!

I Found The Trip's Special Purpose!

As near as I can tell, I’m conscious again, or as close to it as I ever am. I killed the deadly jet-lag demon with a nice 9 hour sleep. I say killed, but it’s usually easier going this way around the world than the other way. I think. Maybe it just slunk away on its own.

So, I finally figured out what the whole trip was about! It was a blatant plea from the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Transportation (they’ve got the tourist bureau) that went out to the 60 members of the group, “Please! Please! Tell the whole world to visit Miniland!” Well, sad thing is that I can’t tell you where Miniland is, because it’s one of the places that would give you a decent hint in figuring out what I do here in the land of academe. In any case, they figured to invite us out for a bit of a tour and show up what’s up in Miniland. That way, when we all got home then we could spread the gospel of how wonderful the place is.

If it weren’t for the whole mild mannered secret identity thing, I probably would give you exactly the advice they would have me give you. Miniland is really more of a regional destination rather than a global one, but it’s got quite a bit to recommend it. Even though it’s marginally related to what I study, I’ve usually gone nearby, but I’ve never been there before. I know now that if I get the chance to go back, I surely will. The people I met there are truly some of the most kind and hospitable that I’ve ever met. I usually hate making generalities like that, but the only slightly negative experience I ever heard about was a street vendor that tried to get one of the group to pay a higher price for a little bracelet. For crying out loud, if that was the only problem I ever ran into when traveling, I’d be giddy. I’d also probably have a lot of expensive cheap bracelets, but that’s neither here nor there.

The scenery was gorgeous, as I hope you can tell from the one picture I put up there. Don’t worry, there will be many many more pictures. The cities were mainly sad and a bit run down, with pockets of bewildering high-tech wonders.

There’s a lot to say about this trip, so I’ll break it up a bit. I’ve got to run and get ready to go to a photo job tonight. It’s been awhile since I’ve done this kind of photo gig. I hope I remember which direction to point the camera.

I'm Back!

And exausted! The trip was very very odd, but in a wonderful way. There were Ugly Americans and Stereotypical folks from many nations. There were hot springs and irrelevent coorporate kickback visits. All this and much more when I regain consciousness!

Where, Oh Where Is Our Bedreaggled Blogger?

IMG_2434
Originally uploaded by Overread.

(If you know the answer, please don't answer that - just think to yourself how cool you are for knowing and move on with that knowledge)

I'm in the land of Far Far Away. Many have fallen to the perils of intestinal distress, but yet I'm still enjoying every meal. I've seen wondrous sights and outstanding human beings.

The trip itself is a surreal thing and only a funhouse minor reflection of what I thought it would be, but I'm having a great time and am truly lucky to have found myself here. I'm still not entirely sure how that happened.

There's another week to go here and then I'm back in the realm of reality. The housing situation has been resolved. I got the place that I wasn't too keen on, but at least I know I have somewhere to go home to when I have to leave my happy hovel.

Side note - I have a nasty habit of picking up people's accents. For the past week I've been chatting with groups of New Zealanders, Australians, British folks, French folks, and a couple of lovely Spanish folks as well as a handful of Asian nationalities to boot. I hope they don't think I'm mocking them, because I simply love accents and I'm only subconsciously trying them on for size. I quite like the British one at the moment...

That's all for now - take care my friends of the ether, I wish I could read all of your blogs now, but there's simply not enough time. Be well and try the chicken, or if you can't do both, then just be well.

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane.

I'm nearly packed, and nearly ready to go. It's becoming a bit silly how tied to the electornics that I've become. I've got the cell phone (which I need on the trip to the airport, but I'll pop in the bag later 'cause it won't work in the Land Far Far Away), I've got the PDA, I've got the MP3 player, I've got a whole host of camera gear (still haven't decided if I want to bring the film body or not), then of course I've got the laptop and all it's attendant gear. It's really kind of pathetic. I don't doubt that I could go without, but I just don't want to. Is that like the 'I can stop any time I want to' thing? Perhaps...

I still have't gotten the travel jitters that I usually get for a long trip like this. I guess I haven't had time to think much about it all.

Cab in an hour or so, bus after that then a few hours at the airport then a double digit flight - oh joy.

The food better be good. :)

TACheckSportsTrip

Ahem…

Woohoo!!! The TAship is mine! My precious my precious, no one will take you away from me, my one and only precious. I had a phone interview and I guess I was good enough to get the prof’s ok, so now we can go with the ‘had it, lost it, in the running for it, lost it, got it’ scenario. If you had that on your play-at-home sheet, then you get the full points. Sorry to all those who played and didn’t win this time, but I’m sure there will be more opportunities to play.

Other random good news: I got an email from the billing office asking me why I hadn’t picked up one of my fellowship checks. This is odd because everything I get either gets direct deposited or mailed to me. Anyway, I run through my papers and it looks like they didn’t give me a full check some time in March, and so there was a check for the remainder sitting there waiting for me.

Now, if this were me losing money, I would be tweaked that they weren’t on the ball and didn’t get the numbers right the first time, but since it’s a black number in the accounts, I went over to the office with a smile. I did ask if they knew the story behind the check, not expecting much, and they had a little pow-wow for a bit and came back to me with the helpful information that the money was a fellowship grant from my department. Well, true enough, I guess, but I kinda already knew that. Convinced that nothing was to be gained by trying to figure it out, I kept my smile, clutched my check and happily strolled back to my little cave.

More fun info from the billing office: The guy next to me was trying to find out how he would get his athletic scholarship money. He also wanted to know if he could get a replacement ID there (In the billing office. Yeah.). From the way he was twitching and hopping all over the room, and the scattered thoughts that were flying all over the place, I really hope he was on some hard-core crazy drugs. Really. Because if this is the way this guy is naturally, our sports teams are in more trouble than they already are.

Trip Updates!

I leave tomorrow for the grand crazy tour! I’m not packed! I’m not prepared! I’ll be gone for about 2 weeks sweating like a racehorse at scenic spots and popping in on hyper-refrigerated universities. If history is any gauge, there will also be a lot of eating and drinking. If all that isn’t a surefire recipe for illness, I don’t know what is. I shall be strong however, and remain healthy until I get home and have to gear up for school. Then I’ll fall deathly ill – you just watch.

I have gathered some gifts to hand out bearing the University’s fine imprint, and I’m going to get a hat with the name emblazoned upon it, so that when we go out on the excruciatingly hot tour portions of the trip I can be a proper sweaty (but shaded from the sun) representative of my beloved school.

Also, because I have no car, I have to take a shuttle bus to the monstrous airport Many Miles Away. Unfortunately, the shuttle bus leaves from a place not serviced by the fine local public transport service, sooooo I’m guessing I’m going to have to take a cab to the bus to the plane. Ugh. And we wonder why the sky hangs heavy with lung goo.

I will be taking the laptop and hopefully I’ll be able to blog a little bit from the land of Far Away. I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to say without blowing my cover, but I’ll hopefully be able to have some stories of non-specific hyjinx.

Ok, that’s all for now, see you on the flipside.

Dukes of Hazzard

Oooo, it was bad! In a pretty good way though. No one was expecting art here, and on that score, there was no disappointment. There were editing problems, plot holes, bad acting, and much much more. On the plus side, there was plenty of what you expect, car chases, flaming arrows, yahoo-ing and accents of dubious southerness.

I will say that I was surprised by Jessica Simpson. She actually wasn’t as awful as I had expected, although he role was. It is painfully obvious that they were trying to give her part a bit more meat. They gave her a couple of lines that tried to play to the ‘smarter than the guys’ kick-ass woman type, but it never really came across. As far as other women characters – well, think of all the farmer’s daughter jokes you can remember and you’ll get the idea.

The other characters were hit or miss. I didn’t care for either of Bo or Luke. Neither of them seemed to be able to act, and they weren’t fun or funny enough to carry the show. Boss Hogg, Uncle Jessie, and Enos were all well cast. Sheriff Coltrane seemed just like Bo and Luke – just flat. He just didn’t incite any anger or disgust or humor at all.

For what it is, it was a good flick. Mindless (and I do mean mindless) fun, although probably much less so for people who hadn’t watched the TV show.

Dukes of Hazzard 5/10

My Snark Lessons Are Paying Off

Things that you say wanting to impress people that don’t.

I only listen to jazz.

Good! I like jazz too, but if you aren’t a musician, the minute you make any music choice a defining part of your life, and foreswear all other kinds of music (and this seems to happen disproportionally to jazz folks), you’ve stepped way over that line to the land of pretension.

Oh, I don’t know anything about (insert inane TV show here). I don’t have a TV.

Wonderful! I agree that TV is a generally a great wasteland, but it’s also a tool to used for good or evil, your choice. Not having a TV is fine, even inspireing, but telling me that you don’t have a TV every couple of minutes sounds like you are protesting a wee bit too much. Do you really just want to come over and watch my TV? ‘Cause I’ve got one, and I know you don’t, and it seems that you’re a bit hung up on it. I’ve even got cable.

Blah blah blah cabernet blah blah blah

Again, I like wine, and I admire those who can pair a good wine to a good meal, but being well-versed in wine doesn’t make you a better person, no matter how much you think it might.

Blah blah blah wasn’t as good as the book.

Of course it wasn’t! Nothing ever is! But more importantly, the movie is fundamentally different than the book. You can’t compare the two forms in equality. One may be better suited to a certain audience or serve a certain message because they are different. This is usually just a transparent effort by people who don’t read books often to tell someone that they read the book, and look at me, I’m smart because I read a book. Well, I’m not sure the novelization of the Dukes of Hazzard makes me respect your noggin any more than I did before.